#May2012
Bungie’s Next Game Is ‘SCI-FANTASY, ACTION SHOOTER’…According to Court Records.
There were a lot of things I expected out of the Activision vs. Electronic Arts grudge match: namely wasting money and hair-pulling. What I didn’t expect was to find Bungie’s next game inadvertently revealed.
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Bungie Says Goodbye To HALO With Mind-Warping Infographic
Bungie has moved on from the Halo universe, striking out into the realm of the third-party with a new title they have yet to reveal. Before departing they dropped this final tear-streaked wet kiss on their dedicated community, in the form of this ass-bursting infographic. Like there’s been 85,841,504 days worth of Halo played. Or the fact that there’s been more deaths in the series than people who have ever lived on Earth. Insane stuff.
Hit the jump to check it out.
Video: Dumped Master Chief Roams Streets, Buys Halo.
Eric Smith was dumped by his would-be wife and handled it like a total boss. In what can only been described as the geek equivalent of a Charlie Sheen psychological wunder-state, he’s since done the following. Sold that ring. Bought a set of Mjolnir armor. Roamed the streets while going to buy Halo: Revamped HD Bullcrap Anniversary edition. It’s tremendous.
Eric Smith, hats off.
The Xbox Turns 10 Years Old Today. Jesus I’m Getting Old.
The Xbox! I got it, and didn’t use it much. Knights of the Old Republic, and the Halo titles. That was about it. It served up easy ridicule in the form of its garish system and its initial controllers. Yet. Yet…Yet I still love the son of a bitch.
Neal Stephenson Plays ‘Halo’ On An Elliptical To Stay Thin. Dude Is Outstanding.
Someday, in a distant land, when the semester is over, I’ll get to finish Stephenson’s Reamde. Till then I’ll have to tide myself over with tales of his rockitude. Like this one.
Bungie Staffer Pulls Gun, Makes Citizen Arrest. Video Game Training!
Jeff Fletcher is an IT dude from Bungie studios. Home of Master Chief and that secret IP that keeps Halo geeks up in a sweat at night. Fletcher is also a dude who witnessed a shootout between two people and then made a citizen’s arrest.
Dude Tries To Sell His Halo Armor On Pawn Stars. Sorta Fails.
Some dude (fittingly) named Ian went onto Pawn Stars trying to hock his Halo replica outfit. It doesn’t go particularly well. He runs around in the suit, showing how amazing it is before asking for $2,000. Much derision and uncomfortable sadness in the eyes of a fellow geek erupts, which we all benefit from.
Hit the jump for the video.
Duke Nukem Calls Master Chief A Pussy In Duke Nukem Forever.
Enlarge. | Via.
Brian Crecente is a lucky man living my dream. Working for Kotaku, he’s currently working through the early portions of Duke Nukem Forever. A kind lad is he, sharing his experiences through the internet article circulation pathways. Today he dropped this outstanding parcel of information regarding the Duke calling Master Chief and his band of Spartans a bunch of pussies.
Halo: The Restaurant Features Your Dad’s Dick [Which You Love.]
[Click to Enlarge. Source: Dueling Analogs via Gamefreaks]
This comic strip is amazing. And a beyond accurate representation of the invigorating and intellectually stimulating Xbox Live environment. While a Halo strip, I can assure you that a Modern Warfare 2 restaurant would bring the same quality conversation and ambiance.
XBOTS Shit Their Pants As Bungie Goes Multiplatform While Sony Cackles
For years, Xbox fanboys have clung to Bungie. The studio has severed as a legit binkie for all sorts of choads and dickwads to use in their PS3 vs 360 argument. Now all that shit is going to change. With Bungie leaving Microsoft and signing a deal with Activision, the motherfuckers who made fat dudes and dorks ejaculate onto their Halo 3 Ridiculous Edition Spartan Helmet are going multiplatform. You can almost hear the screams of the legions of unwashed masses.
So how about Sony, who is obviously going to let Bungie slither into their disc tray with a grand smile. How are those fuckers feeling? Fucking fantastic:
