Zynga hasn’t bashed the World’s Skull in after their initial IPO, and it’s left some people wondering what the fuck they’re going to do next. One of the things they’re thinking of doing is throwing down in the online gambling circuit, for real, real, real cheddie donkies. (That’s money in OL speak. It’s French.)

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This Mom has got it going on, beast mode, when it comes to FarmVille. True confession: I’ve never played FarmVille and don’t know how it works, I just assume that this is something of tremendous wizardry. Where’s dinner? Shut up and plug that fucking laptop in, kiddo!

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Forget farming for gold in World of  Warcraft to transmute online currency into real-time bucks, this dude has it figured out. Ashley Mitchell took on the Gaming Gods and won. Sort of. Momentarily. Mitchell became my hero when he hacked “into a Zynga server, running  popular online card game Zynga Poker” and stole    400 fucking billion of their online betting chips. This man is all sac. The official worth of these chips? A cool $12 million dollars.

Outside of the techno-realm, the worth of these chips is considerably reduced to $300,000. But still, $300,000 is a lot of god damn money. Unfortunately for Mitchell, the dude could only offload a third of those chips, and so it seems he’s going to jail having only been able to parlay his insane Kessel Run into $100,000. Still though. Guy’s awesome.