This is never going to happen, folks. It ain’t. Joss Whedon runs the Marvel Movie Cinematic Universe Place, Ellen Page is tethered to Fox’s blathering attempt at turning the X-Men franchise into the same thing. But man. Can you imagine this?

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The official synopsis for X-Men: Days of Future Past has dropped, and none of it makes very much sense to me. I’m glad (in that ironic, sarcastic, miserable sort of way) to see that all my fucking fears about the movie have been confirmed in this pile of gibberish.

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You couldn’t be blamed if you mistook one of Last of Us’ protagonists for Ellen Page. ‘Cause, you know. Naughty Dog essentially copied Page’s exact look, voice, and mannerisms for the character. How is Ellen Page handling this identity ganking? Eh, pretty decent. But she ain’t happy.

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Yeahokaymaybe I’m a little excited about the idea of Ellen Page being in the new X-Folk movie. I know it’s totally incongruent with my general vitriol towards the movie but I never signed up to be consistent.

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[In an attempt to expand his insular perspective, Rendar Frankenstein became An American in Canada! Join Rendar as he tells of the wonders encountered while traveling through North America’s most jovial nation. It’s one-third travel guide and three-fourths misguided interpretation!]

For those of you with a shaky understanding of Canada’s geography, Yarmouth is on the very tip of the Nova Scotian peninsula. Consequently, getting there from Boston by car means driving through Maine and New Brunswick, and then traversing the entire province of Nova Scotia. Not wanting to push my luck, I decided I’d stop for the night and pick up the journey the next day.

Thus, this episode is archived under the title Mr. Frankenstein Goes to Halifax!

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