Listen. I know this probably makes me a sucker. I know! But I’m totally interested in some Hard-R, weird, meta-riff on Baywatch starring Zac Efron and The Rock. I just am! At the very least, it’s going to be an absurd slab of beefcake on the screen for SAM-OMEGA (and me) to enjoy. She’ll (we’ll) be there for that.
Wait. What? Not that like, I’m opposed to taking my Wife to see Dwayne run around shirtless for two hours. For, you know, both of our enjoyment. But he’s starring in a fucking Baywatch rebook? Being directed by Seth Gordon? Well then. Okay.