‘GRAND THEFT AUTO V’ delayed until September 17, whattayagonnado.
Grand Theft Auto V has been delayed, thereby causing like, more than several people to frown. Oh lord, if you could see these frowns. The people don’t even respect themselves, drooling half-chewed pizza and such all over their t-shirts. Embarrassing. C’mon guys, it is just a game.
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Duncan Jones directing ‘WORLD OF WARCAFT’, I don’t even know.
Eddie and myself were chatting about Duncan Jones a couple of days ago, neither of us certain what he was up to. Whelp, now we know. Instead of doing that awesome-sounding cyberpunk flick Mute, he is wasting his time with a Warcraft movie. Alas. If he can use this flick as leverage for pulling off his own project, I will be stoked. And maybe when it bombs, it won’t really hurt his career.
Watch: ‘HOMELAND’ as a Super Nintendo RPG. It respects the beard. We all should.
College Humor is back on their SNES RPG grind, this time layering the treatment onto Homeland. A good friend of mine described the show best, telling me that he “didn’t know if the show was good, but it is entertaining.” Amen to that. This is our chance to bask in that formula through a 16-bit lens.
The Dude’s High 5s: Old School RPGs
I feel like I haven’t done a video game themed High 5 in forever. For those of you who are on my XBL friend’s list, you’ve no doubt noticed me delving back into the land of Skyrim. With other games out on the market, what has me constantly going back to the world of the Elder Scrolls? Well, in short, I love RPGs. They have forever been my favorite genre of game to play. So submitted for your approval, I present my favorite old school RPGs.
(Old school will be understood to be games originally released for the SNES/Genesis and previous)
New ‘MAN OF STEEL’ images feature Supes’ latex dong cradle, and more!
From now on, that is what I’m calling the region of every superhero’s outfit that gently holds their package. Their dong cradle. ‘Cause as you’ll see, Supes’ outfit is gingerly cradling his super-children. Just waiting to doff the outfit, and unfurl the silent terror. I’m not sure what I’m talking about anymore. I just like using the phrase “dong cradle.” Try it.
Scientists have created a working (microscopic) tractor beam. We’ve done it, people!
Science Wizards know us, and our swollen geek glands. They know how to tenderly massage these glands, while whispering things. What do they coo? Many, many sweet nothings. One of my favorite barely audible murmurs that they hang on me is “we’re making it all come true, all come true!”
Cosplay: Ivy from ‘SOUL CALIBUR’ is all I’ve ever needed.
Okay, maybe not all I’ve ever needed. But on a cold ass winter day, my life rife with despair and poverty, she provides a temporary warmth. In a special place. Hint: my pants. Too far? Probably. Leave me alone, I need this!
NIC CAGE in Tim Burton’s SUPERMAN SUIT. ‘Cause you deserve nightmares.
Hey friends. You have probably thought you have seen the last of the nightmare that was Tim Burton’s Superman. Double wrong. Bask in the radioactive glory that is Nicky Cage in the Super-suit.
MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE: Punch bowl Hallucinations
Truth be told, I have spent more time searching for the header image for this column than I will end up spending writing it. Whatever. The really juicy nougats come from the give and take inside the comments section, right? My part is to serve as but the catalyst for the gals and guys of OL to begin their weekly wanking. I settled on an image by my good friend Brian Galiano. A couple years back, homeboy drummed up countless works (well, you could count them, but I’m lazy) to accompany Rendar’s novella DEFEAT. If you’ve never read the son of a bitch, start here. Anyways, this is Monday Morning Commute. The column where we elaborate on the distractions coating existence just enough on a given week to give us through the malaise.
