ULISES FARINAS draws sexy TATOOINE LANDSCAPE
No, this is not new. But yes, my obsession with Ulises Farinas is new. Ever since our own J-Hawtsauce dropped the brilliant son of a bitch on my mind last week, I’ve been scouring Internet for more of his wonder.
Then I came across this.
The glory, the glory.
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‘DAYS OF FUTURE PAST’ VIRAL TEASER: TRASK INDUSTRIES & SENTINELS
Viral campaign in the house! Here is a trailer for Trask Industries’ Sentinels Program. I mean, what can go wrong with them? Not sure? Days of Future Past will do well to edify your ass.
OMEGA-CAST #3 – Squatchin, SDCC, and Pancakes.
Now that Patrick Bateman and Rendar Frankenstein have returned from squatchin’ in the Great White North, the Three Omega Idiots decide to tackle the San Diego Comic Convention Thing. Plus! Taking gnarly dumps, maybe two functioning microphones, how much better Thor is than The Flash, and cheap plugs of shitty t-shirts.
‘BREAKING BAD’ SEASON 5 OZYMANDIAS TEASER: All Literary Everything
Snappity snap. How about some Percy Bysshe Shelley to accompany all of the Walt Whitman up in the Breaking Bad house? A teaser for the final episodes of the show leans heavily on the sonnet “Ozymandias” by the aforementioned author, and I’m feeling it. Nothing like a preview for one of your favorite shows to make you feel only sort of slightly less shitty for the direction you’ve taken your life. I’m all, “Oh fuck, oh fuck, I get this reference! I know this!”
KATY PERRY wants to play Rachel in ‘BLADE RUNNER 2.’ Git R DONE.
Katy Perry wants in on the Blade Runner 2 action. Hmm. Given that I regard Blade Runner 2 as nothing more than the feces-bases elixir of an encore that Ridley Scott is going to use to wash Prometheus down our throats, seeing one of my eternal crushes play Rachael may actually be the only thing to get me excited about this movie. Listen I know that probably sounds crazy but I just woke up and I shudder slightly when even thinking about Prometheus. Just leave me the fuck alone. I am a firework.
‘BIOSHOCK INFINITE DLC’ will return you to RAPTURE. Play as Booker AND Elizabeth.
I can’t tell if this is the greatest thing ever, or fanboy fan service of the inexcusable kind. The war between the tingling parts of my mind, and the “there something just not right” parts are throwing atomic elbows at one another as I type this.
Eh.
Who am I kidding.
I’m fucking stoked.
SAM ELLIOTT to play RON SWANSON’S RIVAL on ‘PARKS AND REC.’ Remarkable.
It’s going to be a goddamn Mustache-Off on this season of Parks and Rec. Sam “Best Mustache, Best Voice Ever” Elliott is joining the show to play the rival of everyone’s favorite Libertarian. Fuck to the yes, high to the five.
‘HOMELAND’ SEASON 3 TEASER TRAILER: Listen closely, or something.
Fuck me for a) enjoying this teaser despite it offering b) literally no visuals. I can’t help it. I’m ready to run around making weepy faces with Claire Danes and thwarting that son of a bitch Brody.
Hit the jump to check it out.
Monday Morning Commute: Don’t Forget to Mind-Wipe!
Fred was certain that everything’d gone according to plan.
Sure, it was only the third time he’d been called upon to complete the procedure. But why should he worry? It was the first thing they’d taught him at the Neural Corps Academy, a matter of routine that even those struggling with the coursework could exact if necessary. And he wasn’t no goddamn wash-out, he was quick to remind himself while taking a deep whiff of the checkered material.
He was Fred DeCoup. First, a child prodigy. Then, the star student-cum-valedictorian. And at twenty-two, the youngest cadet awarded the position of Reprogrammer General .
Needless to say, Fred was more than a bit startled when the subject woke up screaming. Typically, subjects’ reentries into consciousness are marked by outward expressions of tranquility, sometimes even gratitude. But when XT-203 came to, he was writhing with hatred and spitting vitriol.
“You piece of shit! You raped me! I remember everything! Release these clamps so I can tear out your throat!”
Fred DeCoup dropped XT-203’s boxer shorts from under his nose. He froze. He knew that everything hadn’t gone according to plan, that he’d made an error of the most egregious sort.
In his perverted ecstasy, Fred had forgotten the most important rule: always run a mind-wipe.
—-
Welcome to the Monday Morning Commute! This is the weekly call-to-arms for all aboard Spaceship OL — crew and passengers alike — to discuss the various ways we’ll combat the Boredom Bastards! Rumor has that a few of these fun-suckers’ve been spotted in the very sector we’re headed towards this week, so we need to make sure that everyone’s armed and ready to face `em!
Murder your familial responsibility with movies. Crush your manager’s halitosis with comics. Piledrive your self-doubt with pizza.
I’ll get us started, but you hafta join me in the comments section.
Let’s do this!
‘STAR WARS REBELS’ LOGO, DETAILS, ART REVEALED. It’s a celebration, bitches.
Mofuckahs are partying over in Germany. All sorts of celebrating shit. You know, at that Jedi Gathering Thing. One of the things they’re raising the roof about is the official reveal of Star Wars Rebels.
