‘Gears of War 4’ Launch Trailer: Lock and Load and Chainsaw Guns and Mechs
Microsoft and its Cabal have released the Gears of War 4 launch trailer ahead of the game’s upcoming release. The motherfucker is everything you’d expect from a trailer for the franchise. You know, big guns. Big people. Big monsters. Big action. I’m ready.
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Rumor: Standalone ‘Batman’ Movie won’t take place only in Arkham Asylum
The rumor for a good long minute has been that the first Ben Affleck Batman movie would take place in Arkham Asylum. This sounded wonderful, since it caged the movie in the warm bosom of a favorite video game (Batman: Arkham Asylum, uh, obviously) and would riff on two favorite action movies (Dredd, The Raid). Well, the newest rumor has the movie doing a lot more than hanging around the Asylum. Fine, fine!
‘Nocturnal Animals’ Trailer: Love Is A Dark Violent Novel
The trailer for Tom Ford’s next movie, Nocturnal Animals has hit. And motherfucker, has it caught me off guard. I knew that Ford’s initial flick was well received, but I never caught it. Nocturnal Animals, though? Seems like the sort of beautiful, violent, miserable affair that I’m all about.
Vin Diesel wants to bring back Paul Walker’s ‘Fast and Furious’ Character
Vin Diesel wants to bring back Paul Walker’s character for future Fast and Furious movies. Maybe. Sort of. That is, if you’re willing to believe Paul Walker’s brothers. Here’s hoping it was more of a fever dream of Vin Diesel’s that he pitched to the Walker brothers than a “hey, I’m about to do this thing, guys” sort of thing.
First Look: J.K. Simmons as Commissioner Gordon from ‘Justice League’
In celebration of Batman Day, Zack Snyder has shared an official look of J.K. Simmons as Commissioner Gordon. I’m, I’m okay with it? Sure. The visual aesthetics have never been the worst part of Snyder’s riff on the DCU, but it still looks dope.
Rumor: ‘Mad Max: Fury Road’ Prequel is already in Pre-Production
Looks like we’re going to be waiting a lot shorter than we were expecting for the Mad Max: Fury Road sequel. Or Prequel. If you believe the Ravens carrying the Internet Messages, the Fury Road prequel is already in pre-fucking-production. Still, I can’t help but get a bit bummed given that Furiosa is going to have a tenuous presence, at best.
Mary Elizabeth Winstead joins ‘Fargo’ Season Three; Can We Have It Now?
I don’t care that Fargo season 3 hasn’t filmed yet. Can we have it now? Can some intrepid soul pierce-time space for me, choose the Universe where the season came out most optimally, and send me the show? Fuck, I need this.
Weekend Open Bar: under a blood red God
God does not care if I jerk off, eat pizza, jerk off while eating pizza. I’ve explicitly asked it for permission while I did both activities. Paws filled with pizza sauce, and people sauce, and a ragged smile. God, I said. Do I have permission for this? No word. Jack, jack, eat, jack. God, I said. Are you busy? I have trouble with the fact that I’m tortured by the past and terrified of the future. No word. Jack, jack, eat, jack. God, I said. Are you busy? I have trouble with the fact that I’m in a rotting meat-case on a rotting planet, and frankly I think it’s a race to the finish line between the two of us. No word. No word. Jack, jack, eat, jack.
Citizens of OL, I say. Are you busy? It’s the weekend and I want to hang out with all of you. Click click, clack clack of the keyboard. Citizens of OL, I say. Are you busy? It’s the weekend and I want you to share everything you’re reading, eating, playing, seeing, experiencing with me. Click click, clack clack of the keyboard.
God, I said. Are you busy? Citizens of OL, I say. Are you busy? Jack, jack, eat, jack. Click click, clack clack of the keyboard.
God, Citizens, let’s spend some time together.
This is Weekend Open Bar.
