Press Start!: Microsoft Kinect Presents ‘Grand Theft Anal.’
Lords of the Joystick, deliver me from critical analysis. Let me find myself in the next soothing great misdirect, awash in stimuli and polygon. I’m but a man, with strained (brain) stem I hunger for video games as escape. Dedicated to the Temple, I scavenge weekly for details pertaining to this World I love so much. The remnants, the scraps, pulled together into something is this banal Top 5 list. It’s not much, but it’s easy.
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Jennifer Lopez Producing Live Action ‘Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?’. My Childhood Just Vomited.
Jennifer Lopez, best known in the Halls of my Memories for giving me newly-adolescent boners is taking on a more pristine memory, forged before I used to dry hump carpets: Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?
Some Tool Bid $1,725 For Early Copy Of ‘Modern Warfare 3’ On eBay. Patience, People.
Kmart done fucked up and started selling some copies of Modern Warfare 3 early. This was seemingly enough to send CoD fanboys and fangirls into the throes of insanity, as one has bid a ludicrous amount of money on an early copy.
This Spiral Galaxy Is On The Edge. Don’t Push Him!, Sugar Hill Gang Reference Etc.
Borderlands Fan Passes Away, Gets Honored As A Character In Sequel. Class.
Michael John Mamaril was a Borderlands fan who recently passed away. Gearbox is doing the ultra-dope move and honoring his passing with a NPC in the sequel.
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Lasers Can Turn Your Brown Eyes Blue. Science! The Future!
Welcome to the Future, where lasers can change those boring brown eyes of yours into gorgeous blue oceans of sass. Or something.
‘Bond 23’ Officially Titled ‘Skyfall’. Alright, Let’s Do This.
I can’t remember a fucking thing about Quantum of The Pinnacle’s Solar Drive or whatever the last Bond movie was called. I just know that I liked it, describing it to our own Eduardo Pluto as having an indecipherable plot but featuring “hot people shooting and fucking” which was (sadly?) enough for me. So I’m ready for a new Bond, replete with the same.
All Marvel Comics Going Same Day Digital By March 2012. Comic Shops Sigh.
Marvel’s finally catching up with…like everyone? and going same day digital. By March of 2012. Take your time, guys.
One Image Argues ‘GTA V’ Features All The Favorite GTA Protagonists.
We don’t know who the protagonist(s) for GTA V is yet, but one interpid Redditor is arguing that the trailer features three of the staples of GTA’s past.
Hit the jump to check it out.
Bucky Lives! Brubaker Brings Back ‘Winter Soldier’. Awesome.
I didn’t care much for Fear Itself, but what depressed me the most was the killing of Bucky at the ends of Red Lady Crotchfire or whatever. Brubaker’s take on the Only Guy Who (Doesn’t) Stay Dead was fantastic, and I felt his death was just Event-fueled crap. Well, Bucky lives. Again.
