Hello friends! As unfortunately predicted it’s been quiet around these parts as I endured the semester’s climax. Clenching genitals and wobbly knees, I have returned to you. Papers done, presentations awkwardly administered, a Christmas break upon me.

Thanks for hanging with the silence. I’ve missed you and your musk. Or you gently lathered perfume. Or your gunk-covered gym junk. Whatever the case.

How you been?

Hello fellow travelers on the Spaceship, it’s worth mentioning that there may be insanity outages throughout the rest of the week. I’m currently cranking out a couple of final projects, and so if there is a bit of silence don’t despair. The ole ticker hasn’t popped because of one two many 2 liters of Pepsi Max. Not yet. Not yet. Caffeine Powered prevails. Anyways, godspeed and by next Monday I’ll have a month of glorious stability with which to pepper your tits with stunningly nerdy posts and other drivel.

[Is there a better way to celebrate the manger-birth of a superpowered messiah-baby than watching television? Hell no! Join Rendar Frankenstein as he navigates Spaceship OL through the Televised Days of Christmas!]

Alas, life is embraced once again! It’s a Wonderful Life reminds all viewers that they’re worth something, even if they don’t think so. And for its saccharine resolution, the movie has come to be known as the forerunner of all holiday entertainment.

But what if the lesson in It’s a Wonderful Life can’t be universally applied? What happens if someone who is a societal malignancy begins contemplating non-existence? What do we learn when peering into another dimension in which an individual’s absence allows others to flourish?

In those instances, we have to accept that It’s a Bundyful Life.

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For the love of all that is holy I’m fucking done with this season of Dexter. Or whatever has become of it, which seems to be a pastiche of HBO television tropes. We have the incestuous vibes from Game of Thrones, the insufferable psychoanalysis of the Sopranos, and the Six Feet Under (Hi David!) prolonged dream sequences. Meanwhile people are running around and Colin Hanks is trying really, really hard to make grim faces. Let’s rock out this shiz with some bullet point blitzes.

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Remember that time in The Matrix where Neo totally learned kung fu in like ten seconds? That shit apparently isn’t so outlandish according to some scientists. The only drawback is the same sort of chicanery could be used for, you know, mind control and the ish.

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The first millisecond after a nuclear explosion. An imperceptible moment, a horrifying glance into the first wave of annihilation. It’s pretty terrifying. Pretty. Terrifying.

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It’s quickly becoming clear where we should all be seeing The Dark Knight Rises. With nearly 50 minutes of IMAX-shot footage, seeing it on anything less than an IMAX screen is depriving yourself of the true thunderous glory of Nolan’s work.

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OL would be remiss if we didn’t take a second to tip out a 40oz for Dimebag, who was shot down seven years ago today. Sleep well, sweet prince. In Hellfires, scantily clad women, and pick slides.

Hit the jump for some shredding remembrance.

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Let’s not complain about Dexter this week. Let’s just not do it. Waddle over to that Pharma-Installation that’s mandated to be in every house now. Take the happy pill.   Snap it between your teeth and smile. It’s Christmas time, and if you’re not eating elbows from Soccer Moms and swearing in the parking lots that mayhaps there’s a chance you’re ready to swing with some fucking Yuletide cheer. Showtime has already announced that the end of Dexter is coming. The end game approaches. So let’s just smile and gently wait for the final descent to begin.

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Here it is folks, the mid-season finale of the Walking Dead.   We start out with Glenn’s trademark speech craft ability.   Glenn announces that the barn is full of walkers.   This of course causes a panic amongst the survivors.   This revelation presents a few problems for everyone.   For Rick it means that he has a new complication with Hershel.     For Glenn, it’s the betrayal of Maggie’s trust.   For Shane, this is a security threat.   The lion’s share of this episode is going to be focusing how everyone handles this new development.   I love how the opening ended with a throwback shot of the barn door bulging slightly as Shane got near.   Reminded me of the hospital shot during season 1.

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