[legend has it that Ernest Hemingway wrote a six-word story to win a bar bet — For sale: baby shoes, never worn. leading to the author’s birthday, I’m going to offer a daily post of my own six-word story. readers are encouraged to respond with their own]

Only geezers think it’s too late.

[photo]

[legend has it that Ernest Hemingway wrote a six-word story to win a bar bet — For sale: baby shoes, never worn. leading to the author’s birthday, I’m going to offer a daily post of my own six-word story. readers are encouraged to respond with their own]

It’s just not in me anymore.

[photo]

Oh hey, check it out! It’s the PlayStation Move bundle! Well, let’s see what it has. Hm. A lame waggle-remote thing. That still can’t provide me with a masturbation simulation. And a sports game! Archery and shit! Why, this sounds like the same shit that was packaged four years ago! Nintendo Wii, and Wii Sports.

OMFG. If this was bizarro world, I’d be totally stoked right now.

Get it?!

It’s late.

[Search Engine Terms come from an app in the Word Press dashboard. It tells you the terms that people are using in google to lead to your site. Most of ours are ultra depraved and horrible. And amusing to sick people like me.]

In the future, when you can create your own temporal temporary bio-organic constructs out of your Matter Master 4000, you’ll be able to create your own Bayonetta construct. Built out of ultra-decay flesh that gives away after twelve hours, and no consciousness but a list of traits you string together in the Matter Master 4000 software, she’ll be able to jerk you off for that sweet half day. And after her inevitable combustion into a pile of pseudo-snot and black leather-gone-goop, you’ll be able to flush her down the toilet and forget about her.

But for now? You just need to google “Bayonetta Handjob” and live vicariously through scribblings. Sorry.

If there’s one thing that I know for certain, it is that the thinkers of the past envisioned a way cooler future than we’ve gotten.

via io9:

In the 1960s, United States Steel released Power Styling, a book of remodeled electrical stations that crackled with modernist flair. The book imagines a mod future in which “electrical engineer” is the sexiest gig on the planet.

Man. If they could see us now. I mean, we’re pretty fucking impressive, don’t get me wrong. But we’re also a bloated landscape of neon signs and advertisements. I think our highways would give Past-Us nightmares.

[legend has it that Ernest Hemingway wrote a six-word story to win a bar bet — For sale: baby shoes, never worn. leading to the author’s birthday, I’m going to offer a daily post of my own six-word story. readers are encouraged to respond with their own]

The typewriter gave me writer’s block.

[photo]

[legend has it that Ernest Hemingway wrote a six-word story to win a bar bet — For sale: baby shoes, never worn. leading to the author’s birthday, I’m going to offer a daily post of my own six-word story. readers are encouraged to respond with their own]

They forgot a stamp. He died.

[photo]

[legend has it that Ernest Hemingway wrote a six-word story to win a bar bet — For sale: baby shoes, never worn. leading to the author’s birthday, I’m going to offer a daily post of my own six-word story. readers are encouraged to respond with their own]

Fame is infamy’s cowardly little brother.

One of the two highlights of my descent into the Great American Yokel last week was finding these beauties at a local Walmart. For just $5, less than a twelve-pack here, I could buy a 24-can cube of Diet Mountain Dew destruction. Amazed at the sight, and drinking away my woes, I simply had to buy two.

At a certain hour I become wistful. When this occurs, I turn to that which inspires me, helps me believe that wonder and beauty and triumph still exist.

I present my muse of the evening: Paul Gilbert

If you enjoy the sound of electric guitar, I think you’ll find his work breathtaking.

And if you think John Mayer’s the greatest living guitarist, prepare to have your belief challenged.