#Miscellaneous
OCTOBERFEAST – The Masque of the Red Death
[OCTOBERFEAST is the greatest celebration of the year, a revelry dedicated to pop-culture’s most nutritious Halloween detritus. Plastic screams and artificial sweeteners have never been more bountiful. In the old country, villagers refer to the extended party as Satan’s Snacktime]
Edgar Allan Poe is perhaps the most celebrated madman in all of American literature. When he wasn’t drinking himself into a stupor or bedding his thirteen year old cousin-bride or snorting blow off of cadaver asses, Poe spent his time setting the precedents for what would become the modern horror genre. Oh, and he also invented the detective story.
It was a pretty solid life for a guy whose last days on Earth consisted of being found wandering Baltimore in someone else’s clothes while crying out for some mystery figure named “Reynolds.” Perhaps if this Reynolds had revealed himself, Poe wouldn’t have collapsed into a death-coma. But then again, perhaps the legend of Poe wouldn’t be quite so epic without a hazy opium-cloud of a demise.
Of all his works, The Masque of the Red Death may be Poe’s most explicit acknowledgment that his reckless ways would lead to a tragic demise.
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THIS WEEK ON Dexter: Those Kinds of Things.
Oh shit!, the sixth season of Dexter is here and it kicked off with some ripping bad assery from our favorite Homicidal Batman. I called dream sequence, the show called my bluff and we finally got to see him kill off a couple of douchebags in a rather novel way. Listen man, my serial killer needs to go beyond the casual chest stab every once in a while.
The show’s jumped a year forward and while I usually bemoan this trope maybe the meds are working and I’m not feeling nearly as critical. In that time Pock Mocked McGee and Deb have been hanging out and chaining annoying vulgar turns of phrase together. He’s been banging her and observing his penis’ clear presence in her Skeletor vaginal canal. LaGuerta divorced Angel which caused him to get a sweet ass beard. Also his sister is hot. Masuka’s still Masuka which is fine by me.
And in my mind: Astor and Cody were eaten by a Kraken, after being dismembered by a saw that was powered by an intensified version of their own cacophonous bitchings.
Breaking Bad: End Times
In the past, the penultimate episodes of Breaking Bad have always packed a wallop. In season 2’s “Phoenix,” Walt watched Jane choke to death and in the previous season, Walt committed vehicular homicide (“Half Measures”). Vince Gilligan and the creative team continued that tradition with “End Times,” although we were left with a defeated Walt on a rooftop instead of a car bomb. I can’t believe there’s only one more episode. It’s a testament to the creative team that it’s been 12 weeks already and they’ve managed to maintain this incredible amount of tension and depth. It seems like only yesterday Gale was killed…
Fear Fest: Spiders!
OCTOBER 3rd, Spiders
“The spider taketh hold with her hands, and is in kings’ palaces.”
-Proverbs 30:28
Hello ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back to this satellite of love we like to call Rocket ship Omega Level. In the last two Fear Fest articles, I took a more clinical approach to them. Today, it’s a little more loose. I’m firing from the hip on this one. One could argue that “Oh you procrastinated and didn’t have time to be as throughout because you were playing video games and making god cry”. Well, in retort to you Mr. Smart guy, all I can say is stop peering into my window you pervert!
Arachnophobia is one of the world’s most common fears. Its no secret why, look at them. Spiders, and scorpions, are so alien to us that its hard to conceive that we share the same planet. Personally, I like spiders. They kill and eat other bugs that I hate. Since I am apparently public enemy number one to the mosquito world (Why else would those fuckers attack me so much), I’ve had to make alliances with anything that will kill them. That means citronella, tiki torches, bats, and spiders. Upon reading up on certain arachnids, I may have to rethink the whole arachnophobia thing.
OCTOBERFEAST – October Rust
[OCTOBERFEAST is the greatest celebration of the year, a revelry dedicated to pop-culture’s most nutritious Halloween detritus. Plastic screams and artificial sweeteners have never been more bountiful. In the old country, villagers refer to the extended party as Satan’s Snacktime]
The heavy iron gates have been torn asunder. Children howl, fire in their eyes and sugar in their guts. Geezers don masks, chuckling their emphysema chuckles and launching bottle rockets at the Hunter’s Moon. Women hike up their skirts, tempting the menfolk to make decisions most unwise. The torrent of maniacs has flooded the campgrounds – there’s no mistaking this dark carnival for any other event.
Welcome back to the OCTOBERFEAST!
Today’s festivities feature musical accompaniment, a score to facilitate the fermentation of the parishioners’ blood from a vital red to a syrupy orange-and-black. Yes, instead of bat wings flapping and incantations groaned, the revelers tap their toes to a sludgy Gothic manifesto. One born out Brooklyn, no less.
Let us all raise the fist of the metal child to October Rust.
Fear Fest: Failure!
OCTOBER 2nd, Failure
“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” ~Henry Ford
Hello again Omeganaughts. The Dude here to guide you through another fear that can wreck a person’s mind and destroy their self-esteem.
Failure can be tough to judge. Its subjective. Fear of Failure (Atychiphobe) is fairly common. It can cripple a person almost beyond repair. Fear of failure can be the tip of the iceberg when it comes to social disorders. One of the most common causes of fear of failure is rooted in traumatic childhood experiences. Something like demeaning parents or older siblings could cause a complex that makes the person so afraid of failing in the eyes of others. I know what this is like first hand as I have a complex relationship with my older brother. I don’t think he realized the effect he had on my life as a child, but it took me a long time to put it aside and move forward.
OCTOBERFEAST – Fruit Brute
[OCTOBERFEAST is the greatest celebration of the year, a revelry dedicated to pop-culture’s most nutritious Halloween detritus. Plastic screams and artificial sweeteners have never been more bountiful. In the old country, villagers refer to the extended party as Satan’s Snacktime]
There are those who bemoan society’s current condition. These are the folks who love to reminisce about how much more wholesome things used to be, how everything used to be safe and hearty and family-friendly. You’ve probably seen one or two of these types in the supermarket, waddling through the aisles and grousing about the fact that we live in an era in which goblins and lunatic-geniuses encourage the youth to lose their minds.
If you identify with this perspective, it’s probably in your best interest to steer clear of the OCTOBERFEAST!
That’s right, folks, it is once again time to explore those grimy crevices of Hallow’s Eve often excluded from the prepackaged celebrations! So take a rip of the closest beverage, whether it be pumpkin-beer or your Uncle Edgar’s famous gasoline-Mountain Dew cocktail, and make your way into the campgrounds!
We begin this year’s festivities by issuing a missing persons announcement over the public address system:
Attention! Attention! Has anyone seen Fruit Brute?
Fear Fest: Public Speaking
OCTOBER 1st, PUBLIC SPEAKING
“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’d rather be in the casket than up there doing the eulogy”
-Jerry Seinfeld
There can be no argument that we live in a scary time. Fear is a funny thing, we all experience it at one point or another. Its something that connects us all. Every culture has their fears, their superstitions, and their nightmares. If somehow we could unite together as a species, perhaps we could set our fears aside. This October I’ve decided to write about a different fear every day. Why you ask? Fear is the product of ignorance. Ignorance is fought with knowledge. If I can impart even one nugget of wisdom to another person, I have fought fear.
Even More ‘Avengers’ Photos Show Loki, Objectified Widow, Cpt. Rogers.
(Real images after jump for spoiler cautious.)
There is yet another new batch of poorly scanned images from the Avengers. I particularly (don’t) enjoy the picture of Widow. Failing to return a gaze, her tits almost out, her legs spread. Ah, the modern comic female.
Anyways I’m done complaining. Check them out.
Video: 29 Year-Old Deaf Woman Hears Herself For The First Time. Oh Science. <3
Pretty rad video of a 29 year-old woman hearing herself for the first time after receiving a hearing implant. Progress is real, and sometimes the world shines a bit.
Hit the jump to check it out.
