#Television
Video: The Green Lantern/Robot Chicken Special Will Smoke The Reynolds Atrocity.
Check out a preview of the Robot Chicken/Green Lantern collaboration. It doesn’t seem to make much sense, then you watch it and you’re like…oh this is going to be good. Dang good. I mean, a Green Lantern cock ring? Sold.
Hit the jump to check it out.
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Marvel’s ‘The Punisher’ Is Going To Be A TV Show? Mythos Rewrite A-Go-Go.
Frank Castle is a guy who has never crushed it in movie form. Maybe he’ll receive some sort of filmic redemption once his story is told on television. But if he does, it’ll be through a strongly different story.
Bryan Singer’s ‘Battlestar’ Movie To Be Written by John Orloff. This Is Happening, I Hate Everything.
Bryan Singer’s fucking Battlestar movie is really really coming, and it’s giving me an anxiety attack that I can’t really corral. It isn’t so much that BSG is getting redone, it’s that frankly fuck Singer and this Orloff guy I don’t care if he wrote Band of Brothers. I don’t care that I just shit all over syntax.
OCTOBERFEAST – Danzig
[OCTOBERFEAST is the greatest celebration of the year, a revelry dedicated to pop-culture’s most nutritious Halloween detritus. Plastic screams and artificial sweeteners have never been more bountiful. In the old country, villagers refer to the extended party as Satan’s Snacktime]
The malignant hordes have festered upon the campgrounds, sprawling about in a triumphant display of terror. They take killer rips from gasoline tanks teeming with Mountain Dew. They burning effigies of the Kardashians. They feast upon orange-frosted cupcakes and handfuls of roasted pumpkin seeds.
There is no doubt that the OCTOBERFEAST merrymakers are having the times of their lives.
However, total immersion in the immoral leaves the partygoers defenseless! At this point, virtually every one of `em is pumpkin-drunk and fear-fatigued. What should happen if some Donnie Decency stormed the gates, pamphlets about hygiene and righteousness in hand? Well, we could very well see the dark disciples converted, repurposed for existences without surfeits of sugar and regular poltergeist-attacks.
The horror!
Fortunately, there are those who keep careful watch over the OCTOBERFEAST – after all, the success of any evil entity is contingent upon the strength of its sentries. Voldemort has the Death Eaters. Darth Vader has the Stormtroopers.
Not to be outdone, OCTOBERFEAST has its own last line of defense: Etrigan’s Guild. For the safety of the celebration, the identities of this cacodemonic collective’s members are shrouded, revealed only to the perpetrating do-gooders. But in the spirit of Satan’s Snacktime, tonight the captain of the guild is stepping forward, making his presence known to any considering infiltration.
The Captain of Etrigan’s Guild: Glenn Danzig
Video: ‘Eastbound & Down’ Season 3 Promo? I’m F**king In. (Tired Pun.)
There’s a promo for the third and final season of Eastbound & Down, and while it doesn’t give away anything it makes my genitals heart with anticipation.
Hit the jump to check it out.
Breaking Bad: Face Off (Season Finale)
“I won.” – Walt
Based on the promise of the episode’s title, lots of speculating went on concerning who would be “facing off” in the season finale. I don’t think anyone guessed that it actually meant someone’s face would be coming off. It was a huge finale, with lots of great pay-offs including an assassination scheme by Walter White that finally worked as planned. But in traditional Walt-fashion, it involved someone else doing the dirt – in this case Tio, who sacrifices himself to off Gus and Tyrus. “Face Off” showed another giant leap in the transformation we’ve been gleefully watching for four seasons: Walter White naive chemistry teacher to drug lord El Jefe of Albuquerque.
OCTOBERFEAST – Bark at the Moon
[OCTOBERFEAST is the greatest celebration of the year, a revelry dedicated to pop-culture’s most nutritious Halloween detritus. Plastic screams and artificial sweeteners have never been more bountiful. In the old country, villagers refer to the extended party as Satan’s Snacktime]
If the OCTOBERFEAST teaches us nothing else, it’s that every individual must act as both prey and predator of the heart’s darkened recesses. While evading their burdensome remembrances in daily living, one can use this annual masquerade-macabre to unearth the roots of personal anguish. Show them to the world. Chop them to pieces with a fuggin’ axe. Light them on fire.
For as horrifying as it might be to approach our own repressions, it is infinitely more exhilarating to air them out. So no one amongst us, from the most fragile bonfire-stoker to the strongest cask-hurling juggernaut, will escape the revelry without revealing a lost truth, a fact that may begin to be slipping into fiction. Go ahead – turn your head to the sky and just scream what it is that you don’t want to face but can’t bear to forget! There’s no need to be shy!
For even the most evil of our OCTOBERFEAST guests have some black-boned skeletons dancing in their closets.
Tonight, Lord Ozzy is going to get things going for us. Look there he is! And he’s about to Bark at the Moon!
American Horror Story: Pilot
It’s still too early to tell if American Horror Story, the new show from Glee co-creators Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk, is going to be good or a messy pile of shit. After the pilot the only thing that can be said is that it’s definitely uninhibited in a latex gimp sort of way. The direction the gimp is going to take us down is still incoherent though, the show’s pace was a little too swift to allow any real storyline to reveal itself. I thought most of the bits that were supposed to be shocking were just silly – the downs girl says “you’re gonna die” hurrr, there’s a gimp suit in the attic hurrr – but overall it was a fun, disorientating pilot that delivered some mysteries right outta the gate. And screw it, I like mysteries.
OCTOBERFEAST – Paul Bearer
[OCTOBERFEAST is the greatest celebration of the year, a revelry dedicated to pop-culture’s most nutritious Halloween detritus. Plastic screams and artificial sweeteners have never been more bountiful. In the old country, villagers refer to the extended party as Satan’s Snacktime]
Paul Bearer is the most evil man in professional wrestling.
Microsoft Reveals Official Xbox 360 TV Partners. HBO Go, and More.
Cyeah, boi. Microsoft has revealed their partners for their TV service. HBO Go on my Xbox? Sounds fucking tight, since they don’t let you output from an iPad through your TV. Fascists.
Hit the jump for a video of pretty people enjoying it, and their official partners.
