#Space
Astronomers discover “planet that shouldn’t exist.” But it f**king does!
Oh, astronomers! You know so little! Or rather you present facts to us, we use phrases like “planet that shouldn’t exist” and then we’re up in your ass when you present findings about a “planet that shouldn’t exist.” So I guess it is us fat-brained proles who rather suck. Or just me. I suck.
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Watch: SATURN’S TRIPPY JET STREAM
Up at Saturn’s north pole is a pretty bananas circulation of gas. Said circulation of gas forms the “north polar vortex” and the whole son of a bitch not only forms a hexagon, but it’s enormous. Astronomers have released a gif of the highest-definition capture of this vortex yet, and it’s trippy.
Hit the jump for more details and to check it out.
BRITISH THINK TANK is revisiting their 40 year-old plan to BUILD SPACE COLONIES.
Yeah fuckers, yeah! It’s about time we got some Brits drumming up ways to colonize the fucking space-lands. I mean, ’cause let’s face it. We’re only going to ride this awesome wave of ecocide for so long before we’re eating dirt and drinking boogers.
Or something.
China launches LUNAR ROVER. All exploring the Moon and such.
China’s on the moon! Or, their lunar rover shall be soon enough. The humanist in me is all like “fuck yeah, humanity’s back on the moon!” The jingoist with American pride is all, “god dammit, when are we going back?!”
South of Orion lies a NEBULA that parties like it’s 1999.
Get it? ‘Cause it’s called NGC 1999. So like, it’s partying. Like that Prince song. Ha! Hahaha! Oh whatever.
Today NASA launches MAVEN, their latest MARS MISSION.
NASA is launching another mission to Mars. Going down today. The latest little scientific jaunt (is there any other kind at this point? Blessed be Uncle Ray’s heart — no) is aimed at figuring out just where the fuck Mars’ water went.
ASTRONOMERS find NEW TYPE OF SPACE OBJECT. Progress!
Don’t let them tell you it’s all been done, it’s all been found. You know, them. The Man. ‘Cause we’re finding new sorts of ass-puckering goodies throughout the cosmos all the damn time. The latest find (or rather the latest one I’ve read about) is a new kind of space object.
SPACEGASM: The MILKY WAY may have 20 BILLION EARTH-SIZED PLANETS.
Kepler is always doing work! On its galactic grind. Crunching numbers. The latest calculations bound to blow out your space-bunghole is the finding that one out of every five sunlike stars has a planet the size of Earth.
EARTH has HELLACIOUS EXOPLANET TWIN
Earth! It has itself a fucking twin. The only problem is that this Exoplanet twin is a scalding little piece of hell, constantly whipping around its star with an impressive fervor.
UN got itself an ASTEROID-MONITORING GROUP ready to THWART SPACE ROCKS
Hey, yo. Yo, hey! You can doubt the efficacy of the United Nations, but at least they’re fucking trying. The Nations United have formed an asteroid-monitoring group that is ready to seriously fucking laserize (I made both the method and word up) any errant space rocks. Sorry you hunks of shit, you’re not going to doom us. Well uh, not without a good try.
