[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]

William Shatner v. Chris Pine.

Whattaya think? Is Shatner a shoe-in because he’s the original urbane explorer of space? Or does Chris Pine’s reimagined Kirk, the Solo-meets-Skywalker take on the Trek universe, go places his predecessor simply couldn’t?

Let the games begin.

Now we’re fucking talking. Apparently Christopher Nolan and Zack Snyder’s desire man to play General Zod is none other than Viggo fucking Mortensen. While we’ve heard that both Lindsay Lohan and Kevin Costner have been up for parts, this is the first time that I’ve gotten my manjuices a-fluctuating about a particular casting rumor.

The kicker though? They haven’t even spoken to the dude yet.

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Drive Angry isn’t the movie Nic Cage devotees have been waiting for. It’s not a return to his genius form last seen in 2009’s Bad Lieutenant. He talks through his teeth and snarls a lot, but there are a lot of actors who can snarl better than Cage. It appears he’s trying to act cool, while it was probably his manic genius that got him offered the role in the first place. With that said, Drive Angry is still great in the expected ways a ridiculous b-movie should be. Oodles of blondes, bullets, and blood. But, sadly, having all the ingredients to a bitchin’ movie doesn’t mean it’s going to come out right.

Cage plays Milton (how subtle), a hardass who looks like a chewed up piece of gristle with a blonde wig on. Milton escapes from hell to avenge his daughter’s death and to save his granddaughter from a satanic cult. Sounds like a conflict of interest, but Drive Angry refuses to be bogged down by trite things like exposition. While Milton is pursuing the satanic cult and their Elvis-like leader Jonah King (Billy Burke), he’s accompanied by Piper (Amber Heard) – a firecacker with a mean right hook and a foul mouth. All the while, an unstoppable force calling himself the Accountant is out to drag Milton back to hell.

It’s William Fichtner, as the Accountant, who steals every scene in Drive Angry. He pulls off homicidal cool so convincingly while simultaneously looking uncomfortable in human skin. He’s got the funniest lines, the best kills, and a power tie that screams confidence. Amber Heard is…well, hot. That’s all she needs to be in this movie. B-movie legend Tom “Thrill Me” Atkins makes a great appearance as the police captain. But then there’s Cage.

Through the whole hour and 40 minutes I was asking WHY is Cage playing it so cool?! You escaped from Hell and you’re armed with a gun called “The God Killer” – be manic and jittery and scream a lot! I think he was going for Clint Eastwood or John Wayne redemption reaper. He’s just boring.

The 3D is put to good use. Meaning lots of limbs and bullets flying towards the screen. There’s not a boring moment and the frequent action sequences are done really well. Surprisingly, there’s not a lot of car chasing going on in Drive Angry. Shoot outs, brawls, and shoot outs while fucking and chugging Jack Daniels make up the action here.

If all the elements are there, how did filmmakers Patrick Lussier and Todd Farmer (My Bloody Valentine 3D) end up delivering a flaccid movie? They obviously know what makes grindhouse flicks so entertaining, but just throwing the ingredients into the same movie doesn’t automatically make a good movie. Story and characters to root for are essential too. Can’t blame them for trying though.

This review originally appeared on the Mishka Bloglin.

[DEFEAT. is Rendar Frankenstein’s truest attempt at fiction.   Presented in weekly episodes, the novella tells the tale of Daryl Millar – a hero who dies at the intersection of pop culture, science-fiction, war epic, and fantasy]

Wednesday morning.

Daryl woke up dizzy and thirsty, but he wasn’t convinced that he could blame it on the Colt 45. No, Daryl remembered that by the time he had come home and gotten into bed he had been sober. Practically. But trying to stand up, he couldn’t shake off his light head and tight chest.

“Why’re my damn lungs on fire?”

And then the recollection. Cigarettes and incense and smoke. He had been totally absorbed. Yes, Daryl now saw images of the mystic who had shown him…well, he knew what she had shown him, but it was too early to start trying to figure out what it meant.

“Hiya there, kiddo!” interjected Gramps, just in time to prevent the dangerous heavy thinking that sometimes follows an evening of heavy drinking. Easing his way through the threshold, Clark moved towards his favorite grandchild. “From the looks of it, I’d guess that someone had a good time last night!” The elder statesman of the Millar tribe slapped his grandson on the shoulder, laughing and remembering his own youthful indiscretions. “I hope she was worth it — and if I know you, I’m sure she was!”

“Nah, Gramps, nothing like that — it was a night out with the boys.” Sitting back down on the edge of his bed, Daryl shot a hand through his hair.

“Oh, I thought I had heard something about you taking out a lady?”

Remembering his plans for the evening, Daryl reassured himself. “Oh yeah! I’m taking Vanessa out tonight!”

Gramps inquired, with a glimmer in his eyes of a man who knows, “And what is it that you’re planning on doing with this Vanessa?”

“Well, I think we’re going to head to the movies.”

“Good idea — nice and dark, you can really make your move in a theater!”

“Gramps!”

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I know there’s a shitload of documentaries about video games and particularly about Street Fighter. I know there’s a shitload of amazing Street Fighter players out there, too many for me to recall. Is Mike Ross one of them? I don’t know the scene well enough to judge. I know the usual names like Justin Wong and others but I’m not sure where Ross stands.

Whatever the case, this trailer for the upcoming documentary FOCUS by Steve Hwang  was fucking fantastic. The movie follows Ross for one summer as he tries and rock out in the professional Street Fighter scene. The trailer hits all the beats you need to make your tits hard. We’ve got man as underdog, man flounders, man perhaps triumphs. It’s what makes King of Kong so fucking good; the protagonist is talented, but you’re not sure if he’s good enough to claim the prize. Dramatic tension ensues! The trailer did good to highlight this deft narrative choice.

I can’t wait, this trailer got me stoked to catch this shit.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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A lot of people are diggin’ the trailer for X-Men: First Class, myself included. Despite the fact that they’re quite literally still shooting and editing bullshit for the rushed movie, the tonal shift to the wayback days has me intrigued. Oh, and January Jones may not be able to act, and she’s clearly going to bastardizing Emma Frost, but her heaving cleavage always gets me going. Today across the webs there’s a quote going around where James McAvoy explains how the flick is a love story between two dudes.

Awesome.

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The second trailer for Duncan Jones’ upcoming flick Source Code dropped today. He’s only directed one movie, but I’m already a frothing Jones fanboy. If you use your powers of intellect, you’ll figure out that means I’m pretty excited for anything regarding this movie. The premise is gimmicky sci-fi, and that’s cool by me. Jake Gyllenhaal plays a character who is inserted into the last eight minutes of a man’s life on a train that was victim of a bombing. He has to try over and over again to figure out who the culprit is, while he falls in love with an obviously doomed passenger.

Cue meditations on fate, destiny, the ability to change the future, et cetera.

It also reminds me a lot of Assassin’s Creed and the animus, but that’s another story.

Hit the jump for the trailer.

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Duncan Jones’ Moon is one of my favorite movies of the last five years. Jones dared to riff on Blade Runner and 2001 with gorgeous visuals and a haunting soundtrack by Clint Mansell. Max Tannone, the dude behind Jaydiohead and more took Mansell’s score and decided to rock out a hip-hop album to the riffs. The vocals are provided by Richard Rich.

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Not to be outdone by the cadre of new Thor pictures, Captain America got himself some new photos as well tonight. Dude straight up told Marvel Entertainment, “Listen, it’s obvious as a blue eyed, blond haired dude I am clearly not the America dream, but the Nazi posterchild. I will make this shit public if you don’t give me some pub” and thus they did. I really don’t know what I’m taking about.

Hit the jump for the pictures.

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The second trailer for Zack Snyder’s adolescent boner dream has dropped today, and it’s more of the same. Thankfully for me, more of the same is over-the top-action, midriffs, and over stylized bullshit. For all of these, I am a sucker.

I dug the trailer while trying to not realize how inherently sexist it is to presume that a girl’s dream world would find her running around with her stomach showing, a short skirt on, and her hair done up in blow job handles. No, Zack Snyder, if I had to guess that’s definitely not how a woman would envision empowering herself. It’s how permanently adolescent fucking pigs like you and myself would.

Hit the jump for the trailer.

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