#Movies
Sam Witwicky: Greatest Hero of Our Time [Part 3]
(This is the final piece of a three-part analysis of the Transformers mythology. Warning: each article contains spoilers for the movie it covers.)
Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon: No Heroes Need Apply
After the events of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, Sam, in true American style, returns to school to fulfill the college rite of passage, finishing what he started (and probably running up a six-figure debt in the process). Though a higher education is not necessary for a hero of his caliber, it can nevertheless be beneficial in this country, especially if Sam wants to get a good, steady job someday. It looks good on a resume, balancing out other accomplishments, like being the two-time savior of the world.
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Sam Witwicky: Greatest Hero of Our Time [Part 2]
(This is the second piece of a three-part analysis of the Transformers mythology. Warning: each article contains spoilers for the movie it covers.)
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen: The Victory of Self-Knowledge
As the opposition, the Decepticons have a solemn duty to wage war against Autobots and the humans perpetually. If the chance to clash with the forces of good arises, then they must take it in spades; they must oppose. In Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, this predisposition is sustained. They are back, again searching for a tool that can help them bring about destruction. But this time, instead of a cube, it is a destructive force that is repackaged in the Matrix of Leadership. But, fascinatingly, this search has been going on for thousands of years, dating back to the earliest age in human history when an original Decepticon, named the Fallen, tried to harvest the sun (and, with it, destroy all life on earth) because he hated humans. Luckily, he was stopped by a group of Primes (the original leaders and distant ancestors of Optimus) in a way that only heroes can: they took the Matrix of Leadership and hid it by sacrificing themselves to cover up any trace of its whereabouts. No one, not even the modern-day Autobots, know of this incredible history linking Transformers and humans. It was knowledge that could only be intuited by heroes.
Sam Witwicky: Greatest Hero of Our Time [Part 1]
(This is the beginning of a three-part analysis of the Transformers mythology. Warning: each article contains spoilers for the movie it covers.)
Every generation has its own hero, a character who stands for and defends the social mores of the particular time and place in which he or she exists by combating hostile forces and ideals that are detrimental to the preservation of the hero’s own society. These heroes, unmistakably present in all forms of art, are the life-blood of their culture, displaying and perpetuating what is collectively honored and desired therein. In his epic poems The Iliad and The Odyssey, Homer sang of the almost-unbeatable warrior Achilles and the cunning Odysseus to suit the needs and wants of ancient Greece. With The Divine Comedy, Dante Alighieri created a fictionalized version of himself to break through the barriers of the eternal spheres of God–journeying from hell and purgatory to a heavenly enlightenment–while facing the demons, ancient and ever-timely, of Renaissance Italy. And now, along these similarly epic lines, director Michael Bay has offered up the hero of our time in the Transformers movie trilogy: Sam Witwicky, the 21st Century American hero who speaks to and for us.
‘The Amazing Spider-Man’ Teaser Trailer, True Believers.
It’s the week where the teaser trailers simply refuse to quit. The latest one is the teaser for the good ole Amazing Spider-Man.
Hit the jump to check it out.
Monday Morning Commute: Liam Neeson’s Ghost
Welcome back to MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! By the time you read this, you’ll most likely have completed your first day of the workweek and will be primed for some solid entertainment. But not if you work the graveyard shift. Which is a bummer, unless you actually work at the graveyard, `cause then you get to meet zombies and mad scientists and packs of goth kids playing Ouija!
In any case, I’m going to give you the rundown on some of the shit that’ll be keeping my spirits high over the course of the next week. Your mission – should you choose to accept it – is to hit up the comments and show which sidearms you’ll be using in this workweek showdown.
‘The Avengers’ Teaser Trailer Leaks.
Bootlegging is bad and awful and also the reason I’ve been able to see the teaser trailers for The Dark Knight Rises and The Avengers early. If you’re like me and can’t wait, hit the jump for a bootleg capture.
It’s dope.
I promise.
Joe Johnston Wants To Make A Boba Fett Movie.
It’ll never happen, but it’s worth imagining anyways. While promoting Captain America: The First Avenger, director Joe Johnston mentioned off the cuff that he’d like to make a Boba Fett flick. And then it was like a thousand geeks orgasmed at once.
Here’s The Official Release Of The Teaser For ‘The Dark Knight Rises’.
When I went to see Harry Potter, I thought that I was just as excited to see the trailer for TDKR. Some sort of conspiring Universal force broke the fucking projector, and the only preview I saw was Sherlock Holmes. So here’s my chance, and yours too! to catch an official copy of the trailer.
Face of a Franchise: Izzza Mario!
[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]
One of the most celebrated rites of passage in the Nerd Realm is engaging in the Greatest Hero debate. Would Luke Skywalker’s Jedi powers confound John McClane, or would he manage to best Tattooine’s favorite farmboy even after getting an arm chopped off? How fast can Neo read universal code if Professor X is mind-molesting him? Can Wolverine’s healing factor work quickly enough to thwart off the three-count after Hogan delivers the atomic leg drop?
Fun questions to ask, no doubt. But only in a purely academic sense. Because, if you really think about it, everyone knows who our generation’s greatest hero is.
Super Mario.
I can’t even begin to think of a hero that’s done more than Mario. Every few years he hunts down a dinosaur, beats the shit out of him, and then brings his girlfriend home to bang her out. Oh, and by the way, she’s a princess – so you know she’s packing a high-quality rump-roast. When he’s not out hunting prehistoric menaces, Mario finds enjoyment in high-octane deathraces. He gets his broke-ass brother jobs. Oh, and the muthafuggah’s got a PhD.
With such crazy credentials, it stands to reason that it takes a real boss to portray Mario. Luckily for us, we’ve been graced with performances by two absolute masters. The only problem lies in determining who did the better job.
New Cast Poster For ‘Captain America: The First Avenger’. It Looms! It Looms.
With only a week left until super soldier eerily Aryan looking yet fighting Nazis wunderchild Steve Rogers debuts on the big screen, there’s a new cast poster to chew on to kill the time. Chew it! Chew it up. Swine.
