Stieg Larsson’s international bestseller (meaning they sell it at Target) “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” was tailor-made to be adapted by David Fincher. The man cut his teeth on a lot of Dragon‘s core elements: a capable female lead (Alien 3, Panic Room), a serial killer (Seven, Zodiac), and a locale drowning in atmosphere. Dragon‘s a crowd-pleaser that works with Fincher’s sensibilities, but it’s also disappointingly conventional and pretty dumb in some parts. Fincher sets up a complex investigation about an island of ex-Nazi scumbags then sits at a Mac and flips through old photos for two hours. Most boring investigation ever.

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Want a couple of new images from The Avengers? Of course you do, you little glutton!

Hit the jump for the official drops.

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Though not sounding nearly as bananas as Aronofsky’s take on the Batman mythos, David Fincher’s pitch for a Spider-Man movie is definitely out of left field. Oh, and fucking awesome by the way.

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Here it is folks – the final push towards Christmas! In less than a week’s time, the Magic Bearded Arbiter will sneak into our homes and either reward us with gifts or punish us with lumps of fossil fuel. Hopefully the Bearded Arbiter wasn’t looking when you cheated on your taxes, ran a red light, or didn’t tip the waitress because she didn’t preemptively refill your coffee.

But chances’re are that your ass is busted. There’s no hiding from Santa. He sees you when you’re sleeping.

So on that note, welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! This is the spot where we meet up to discuss the various bits of entertainment we’ll be relying on to get us through the hellish gauntlet that is the workweek. However, most of us are probably going to be giving half-assed performances at our jobs this week, more interested in cakes and candies and parties than punching in from 9-5. With that being said, last-minute shopping and party-planning carry their own unique brands of stress, and we’ll still need something to get us through.

C’mon, fly down the chimney and I’ll show you what’ll be occupying my mind this week!

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The next James Bond flick, Skyfall, is going to be a standalone. This tantalizes my taint. I want my Bond flicks to be self-contained techno-sexual-suave wankfests.

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ALRIGHT IT’S FINALLY UP AND AIN’T NO ONE TAKING IT DOWN ‘CAUSE IT IS SANCTIONED AND SUCH. WATCH IT. LOVE IT. LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS BELOW.

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Bill Murray is the lynchpin of Ghostbusters, and the last part of the third installment coming together. How is the persuading of ole Billy going? Not very well.

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The Avengers’ International Trailer brings with it some language I don’t understand, new footage, and a handsome as hell Thor that has me feeling things.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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[Is there a better way to celebrate the manger-birth of a superpowered messiah-baby than watching television? Hell no! Join Rendar Frankenstein as he navigates Spaceship OL through the Televised Days of Christmas!]

It can’t be easy to be Santa.

Sure, the guy doesn’t have to work most days of the year. His extended vacation lasts from about December 26th through December 23rd, excepting the occasional check-ins to make sure his slaves helpers aren’t slackin’. He has the distinct pleasure of hanging his stockings with Mrs. Claus.

There’s no doubt that the jolly fat man has a nice life.

Still, Santa has the most stressful job imaginable. In a single night, the dude travels the globe, delivering presents to every single good boy and girl – a task that demands physical prowess, mental clarity, and incredible courage. By the end of his circumnavigation, St. Nick’s body has withstood incalculable g-force speeds, been stretched and crumpled through Chimneys in Chinese acrobat facsimiles, and subjected to countless cookie-calories. Through all this, Santa manages to keep a perfect record of which presents (or coal-lumps) go to which kids, never making a mistake along the way. And to top it all off, the white-beard’s got John McClane-sized balls, visiting even the homes of deserving children who just so happen to have meth-smokin’ gun enthusiasts for parents.

The only way Santa’s job could be more daunting is if his philanthropy had to go interplanetary.

So what are the implications of other planets making demands of Earth’s resident avatar of goodwill? How does a lifelong altruist react he’s told that he’s not reaching enough people?   What happens when a holiday conflict goes worlds-wide?

Well, it just so happens that Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.

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Zomg, it’s Katniss and Peeta and they’re like, on a bunch of a screens. A new poster!

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