There’s a good chance a teaser poster for The Wolverine  has leaked courtesy of some ninja photoing inside the office of director  James Mangold.

It’s pretty cool.

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If there is one thing that is defining the marketing campaign for the Avengers  flick, especially when it pertains to the pics released, it is a whole bunch of attractive people doing nothing. Just sitting. Brooding. Flexing. Boring. Don’t get me wrong I’m jazzed to the tits about the movie, but these pictures are equally boring and hilarious.

Hit the jump to bask in the banality.

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In 1978, a year after Star Wars catapulted audiences into the alien cosmos, Warner Brothers did humankind a solid by bringing the alien to modern-day America with Superman: The Movie. With the appropriately rousing–if not a bit biologically misleading (it’s marketing, people!)–tagline “You’ll Believe A Man Can Fly”, Richard Donner’s adaptation found the right balance between honoring the rich mythology of the character’s comic origins and reconfiguring it through the epic scope that only the big screen can hold. And thanks to this steady footing provided by the saga’s terra firma that stretches from the distant Krypton to Earth’s Smallville and Metropolis, it is no wonder why, when push comes to shove and heroics are called for, Superman can leap buildings in a single bound (and the like) into the stratosphere: the ground is set for success, which makes the flying leap that much more believable. Indeed, Superman takes off, soaring to immense heights as it is still one of the best comic book adaptations in film. (Slight tangent: its structure, still an unbeatable beacon for doing a great origin story, has “inspired”–or, more cynically, motivated the lazy–makers of subsequent comic films to follow Superman’s shining light too much, too closely, like moths to the flame. Some men just can’t fly well, it seems–and Superman’s mastery becomes all the more apparent.)

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The video just keeps coming for Hunger Games, even as the movie stands three days away. In this clip we got Katniss hugging it out with Gale as she prepares to enter the Games frrealy.

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Michael Bay could hear the Collective crapping their pants in apoplexy yesterday when it was revealed the Douche-Pro envisions his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to be…an alien race. His suggestion? “Chill”, like wasn’t the guy who had already destroyed a childhood love.

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How do I feel about John Carter? I don’t feel anything. Perhaps that’s the most condemning characteristic of the flick. None of us cared. None of us! None of us cared to the tune of an enormous loss for Disney.

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A month or so ago, Universal paid a steep multi-million dollar penalty and wiped its ass with their contract with toy manufacturer Hasbro. No sensible human being saw anything great coming from the partnership, which was signed back in 2008 when I was 30 pounds lighter. For years, family-friendly projects like Stretch Armstrong, Ouija, and Monopoly were thrown around with different producers and directors attached – remember Ridley Scott’s Monopoly hurrrr? A few days before Universal washed their hands clean of Hasbro, rival Sony Pictures snatched up Candy Land to use as an Adam Sandler vehicle. Meaning they’re going to make a boatload of money.

The only film actually coming out of the doomed contract is Peter Berg’s Battleship, in which Rihanna and Tim Riggins fight aliens. There’s really no connection to the board game except the battleships and it’s almost certain someone will begrudgingly say “You sunk my battleship” and then immediately feel like a tool. But amidst all the backlash, let us never forget that in 1985 the first and best board game adaptation was released.

Clue is a madcap murder mystery hated by some and loved by many. Critically spat upon in its initial release, it’s since developed a well deserved cult following. Universal was planning on remaking it with Gore Verbinski to direct, but that’s obviously fallen through. Good riddance, I say. The original Clue is super fun and has everything from lo-brow poop jokes to jabs at McCarthyism. It’s worth revisiting if you haven’t in a while. Here’s six reasons why Clue is and will always be the best movie based on a board game.

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Well then! There was some worthwhile fuzz to report from the Amazing Spider-Man panel at WonderCon.  Most notable is the fact that Emma Stone was originally brought in to play Mary Jane, before taking on the role of Gwen Stacy. Wait! – buh! It almost makes too much sense, since Stone is known for his red hair. Despite it being a dye job! A dye job! The horror.

Hit the jump for more details.

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I didn’t think I was interested in Snow White And The Chase For Middle Earth Bucks, but then I saw Charlize Theron emerge from some sort of binding milky goo. Then I was mildly interested.

Hit the jump to watch, leave your impressions.

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Michael Bay could fuck up a winning lottery ticket. He’d all be “Hey, let’s spend it on explosions and the CGI for racially insensitive robots” and shit. Fucking asshole. Douche-Bag was talking at  Nickelodeon Upfront (whatever the fuck that is) when he intimated that the Turtles will not be mutants. They’ll be fucking aliens.

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