Thanks to the work of most of the OL community, I walked out of Prometheus yesterday not nearly as disappointed as I probably should have.  I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t like.  I would probably watch it again if it was on TV or at a friend hosted movie night.  I won’t go out of my way to see it however.  That train of thought got me thinking though.  A while back I posted a High 5 that involved movies that other people like and I hated.  What about the movies I love but know suck?  Well, here they are.  Feel free to add your own, or make fun of me for liking these shit stains on celluloid.

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Just today I got into a conversation with Rendar about this here flick. He thinks it’s going to be forgettable, but enjoyable. I’m not sure. I sniff the distinct scent of ass wafting off all these promotional materials. Where do you land on this reboot? Yay? Nay? Check out the clip and let me know.

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Hey friends. Have you too forgotten about Man of Steel? I don’t know if its willful repression of the fact that the post-Dark Knight Rises DC movieverse is helmed by Zack Snyder or early senility, but I keep forgetting this flick exists. Anyways, here’s some costumes from it.

Leave your thoughts in the comments box.

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Am I being too mean when I say that despite liking him as an actor, I’ve always gotten the vibe that Philip Seymour Hoffman needs to get the fuck over himself? For that reason I can’t see him taking this role. It’s a frannnnnnnnnnnnnchise.

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New Dark Knight Rises TV spot. Cyeah.

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This isn’t really a Prometheus review. By now you’ve most likely seen the movie, read reviews, or heard about it from your boys. This article is a rant with plenty of spoilers.

Does anyone honestly expect greatness from Sir Ridley Scott anymore? There’s no doubt he’s still a master craftsman who can create some truly stunning visuals. But for a while now he’s been more concerned with those visuals than with minor annoyances like story and characters. That’s why for his prequel to Alien Scott was cool working off of a script originally written by the guy who wrote The Darkest Hour (remember that one?), that was later touched up by Damon Lindelof. We all know Lindelof from Lost, which we still argue about, but that’s only because we still love it so much.

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It’s a bit of a stretch, asking anyone to come out of Prometheus this weekend without an overwhelming sensation of feeling hollow.  It’s a rather empty, desolate film in all the ways that matter:  setting, visuals, character – even plot.  There just isn’t a lot there.

Compounding the problem is that the marketing machine behind the film has inadvertently already given you 90% of it.  Walking out of the theatre tonight or tomorrow will feel like you’ve just seen an extended trailer, albeit a two hour one.

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Before I went to see Prometheus last night, I spent the week watching every space mission movie I owned. So, after a while, I began wondering why these missions are populated with the stupidest people alive, because as soon as these idiots step off their craft, compound, whatever, common sense seems to fuck off to destinations unknown. And after this marathon culminated with Prometheus, I began compiling a list of rules, simple enough for these morons to follow, to ensure a safe mission and hopefully cut down on casualties.

Planning to take a trip to some uncharted planet? Print these out and keep them with you.

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Fifty Shades of Grey has been making uncomfortably-sourced panties soggy (my Mom read it) for the past couple of months, and as such there is the inevitable movie adaptation. Now one of our generation’s most sexualized ladies is in the running to direct. Maybe. Can she star?

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This trailer is fucking awesome. Also: butts.

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