#Movies
‘DOCTOR STRANGE’ confirmed for MARVEL PHASE 3 movies. Oh golly gosh?
The Doctor Strange movie is coming, the Doctor Strange movie is coming! Are you excited? Are your staves glowing?
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‘JUSTICE LEAGUE’ MOVIE will have five core characters, no dance scenes. WTF.
Okay, okay. They never said there were going to be any dance scenes in the Justice League movie. Instead, it has been a silent hope of mine. What better way to solidify the tension between Wayne and Clark, than by them finally slinging dongs on the dance floor while talking out their differences? It’s a minor loss for the film, but a loss none the less.
‘INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS’ Trailer: Everything is sad, and I like it.
Oh, Coen Brothers. I have not thought about you lately, even though I have assuredly watched Lebowski at least twenty times since your last filmic endeavor. Now, here you are. Back! Back with a gorgeous little trailer, starring some hunky, tortured folk soul with a righteous beard. I’ve missed you.
Marvel courting ADAM SANDLER and JIM CAREY for ‘GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY’, pardon while I vomit.
Sweet baby Zeus, what is going on here. If you believe the buzz around the Pop Culture Watering Hole, Marvel is courting two washed-up, unfunny since forever ago choads for Guardians of the Galaxy.
Arnold confirms he is doing ‘TERMINATOR 5’, no one is really surprised.
Of course Arnold is doing Terminator 5. What the fuck else is the guy going to do? The Last Stand bombed. He doesn’t have a state to govern. His only claim to relevancy is a franchise that was awesome 22 years ago, and is nothing more than a relic to most of the kinds graduating high school. Arnold needs Terminator 5.
Toby Jones returning for ‘CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER.’ Gimme Zola head!
Yo, if Toby Jones is returning to Captain America: Winter Solstice, he better be showing up in that goddamn Zold robot body. None of that flashback nonsense. Naw. Give me some really cheesy science-fiction swagger, please. I mean, shoot. If they’re riffing off of the Brubaker storyline for Winter Soldier, why not go full bonkers? Right?
Rumor: Jimmy Olsen is a woman in ‘MAN OF STEEL.’ Heck yeah.
If this rumor is true, it is going to be powerful enough to shatter the scrotum of women-fearing fanboys. There is a good chance that there ain’t no Jimmy Olsen in Man of Steel, with the movie opting to go for a female equivalent. Jenny. Here is hoping. Man of Steel doesn’t seem to give a fuck about diddling the Kal-El conventions, and I find it more intriguing due to that. An African-American Perry? Word. A red headed Lois Lane? Double word. A female Jimmy Olsen? Triple-combo-something? (I didn’t know where I was going with that.)
Drew Struzan has been asked to design posters for new ‘STAR WARS’ movies. Dude, say yes.
If you don’t know Drew Struzan, get out! Take your candy, and get out. You already took it out of the jar. And frankly, your ignorant sweat glands have already poisoned the hard, delicious, swollen treats. If you do know Drew Struzan, here is some news to get excited about. Potentially.
THE ROCK + Brett Ratner = ‘HERCULES’ in 2014. Oh, it’ll be a disasterpiece.
I like me some Rock. Dwayne Johnson. Whatever. However, Brett Ratner smells like twice-baked farts. Homeboy makes Michael Bay look like a fucking auteur. I said it! Come and get me. Pretty much anything that guy is attached to, I’m going to look at with a heavy slathering of skepticism. So with those two teaming up for Hercules, the outcome can only be prepared for.
Russell Crowe says Superman goes ‘SUPER SONIC’ in new film, makes me want ‘MAN OF STEEL’ a lot.
The world no longer makes sense. Yesterday, I rode my dog around the block. You wouldn’t believe what I saw. A grandmother, wearing a Barry Hussein Is The Jihad t-shirt, breaking her teeth on a piece of frozen pizza. The world no longer makes sense. It is only in this sort of world where I can be sweating Man of Steel so hard.
