#Movies
‘LOOPER’ DIRECTOR Rian Johnson working on CYBERPUNK script. GOD DAMN YES.
Oh sweet baby Jesus, Rian Johnson is working on a cyberpunk script. This douchebag (hi!) and cyberpunk go together like latex bondage porn and autoerotic asphyxiation. I am literally hardened at every point on my body where blood can flow to just thinking about this. Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
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‘THIS IS THE END’ April Fools’ Trailer: ‘Pineapple Express Part Deux’
April Fool’s Day fucking sucks. Yeah, Google. You’re brilliant. Even more brilliant is Random Guy X on your Facebook feed. However, the douchebags behind This Is The End have produced something for the day that isn’t completely loathsome. It’s a new trailer for the flick, riffing on the idea of a sequel to We Get It Rogen, You Like Weed. Why do I float the pass? ‘Cause it’s actually promoting a real product and shit. Am I being arbitrary? Probably.
NOLAN’S ‘INTERSTELLAR’ to star Matthew McConaughey. Yeehaw!
Matthew McConausomething must be suffering through some kind of career renaissance. Homeboy is barely done shaking his dong in Magic Mike and now none other than Christopher Nolan is eyeballing him. I don’t mind the good lad’s acting, but that hasn’t stopped me being surprised at the casting.
‘PAIN & GAIN’ Red Band Trailer: LIFT WEIGHTS, ROB BANKS.
If you can’t get down with this raging homoerotic thriller starring two stalwart bros, god save your soul! However, if you can’t get down with this heist flick starring THREE MILLION GRAMS OF PROTEIN MADE MUSCLE, then even the Lord Almighty is powerless to carry you towards salvation. (Can you tell I want to see this movie?)
GEORGES ST-PIERRE cast as BATROC in ‘CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER.’ This is so good.
Odd as fuck. My favorite MMA fighter of all time is getting all up in the Marvel movie universe. Georges St-Pierre has been cast to play none other than Batroc the fucking Leaper in Cap 2: Plz I Love You Bucky. What the fuck is going on in this world? I can’t believe that the flick is going to feature Batroc, let alone that GSP is going to be playing him. Yus. I need to stop complaining, and thank the OMNI Dimensional creator for this delicious aberration.
[IT’S BACK UP] ‘IRON MAN 3’ TV SPOT: JFC, Pepper Potts in the suit.
Oh shit, they’re dropping R.E.S.C.U.E. (or something like it) on our ass in Iron Man 3? This movie needs to be inside me. Also, apologies for the completely irrelevant picture. Miles away from a copy of Photoshop at the moment.
ROBERT REDFORD could be joining ‘CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER.’ Well, then!
Robert Redford is in talks to join Cap America: The Bucky Bromance Lives. I think we all totally saw this one coming, right? Get it? ‘Cause there was probably no chance anyone would have anticipated this. Ah whatever, I’m a fucking idiot. Hit the jump for the story.
‘STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS’ International Trailer: Sherlock and Millennium Falcons
Whatever that little ship Kirk and company are flying in this trailer, I’ll be goddamned if it doesn’t look like the Falcon. Rest easy now Abrams, you’ve gotten the franchise you wanted. No, seriously though. This trailer is amazing. There are like a million explosions. Space flight. Space suits. And by the end, my tits are painfully swole.
Mutual Understanding: The Godfa … BORED
Welcome back to “The Dude hates things that are cool.” That’s the unofficial title of Mutual Understanding. I’ve had the pleasure of being sick for the past few days so instead of my normal, systematic break down of why I don’t understand something, I’m going to take a load off and just lob this one out there. Hit the jump to play along.
RYAN GOSLING ready to brawl in new ‘ONLY GOD FORGIVES’ pics.
Oh Lord, here are a couple of new pictures from the next Gosling/Refn jam. Only God may forgive, but I am qualified to authorize your arousal at these pictures. I have a badge and everything. See, see? Look right there where it says “Authorized Wank & Diddle empowerer.” Okay you scallywags, get to it.
