Here’s Bryan Singer. Getting his crew back in his fetish wear. The latest promo images from Days of Future Past features Bishop, Two Old British Guys, and someone who is supposed to be Colossus but really just looks like an Asshole.

Hit the jump to check it out, and let me know what you think.

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You know what always, always, always sounds dorky to me? Rhyming comic book dialogue. I’m totally (not) glad that we have Electro rhyming about how powerful he is or some shit in this teaser. Blegh. If I’m being honest though, I still expect to be entertained by this flick. I enjoyed the first Webb/Garfield/Stone-powered film, and I imagine this one can’t be any worse (famous last words?).

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The official synopsis for X-Men: Days of Future Past has dropped, and none of it makes very much sense to me. I’m glad (in that ironic, sarcastic, miserable sort of way) to see that all my fucking fears about the movie have been confirmed in this pile of gibberish.

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I haven’t seen any of Steve McQueen’s movies, though it is not out of lack of want. However, because of that I haven’t really kept tabs on the good sir and his efforts. You know who has? Eduardo Pluto, who was totally up my ass (I moaned a little, whatever) about this trailer dropping. So here it is.

Thoughts? Deep thoughts? Sociopolitical commentary? Ratings on the trailer, based on a one-through nineteen bags of popcorn scale?

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The red-band trailer for Spike Lee’s remake of Oldboy has dropped, and Jesus Fucking Christ! It looks good. I would not have expected to find myself sweating the remake of a flick I loved, but here I am. Surprises every day, c’est la vie. Right? What do you folks think of this Western remixed offering?

Hit the jump to check it out.

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Whoop! Here is the official poster and some images promoting the Agent Carter short film that’ll be coupled with Iron Lad 3 on Blu-DVD or whatever. I’m digging them. Especially the retro poster. It’ll be nice to see what Agent Carter is up to, while Steve is straight chilling as a fucking popsicle. I mean. Life goes on and shit. Can’t wait around hoping the dummy who plunged his plane into the Artic dethaws to let another group of super-choads. There are bad guys. Right?

Hit the jump to check out the new promos.

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I should preface my unfair judgment of Jamie Foxx as Electro with that preface alone. Also, I should probably clarify that I don’t particularly give a fuck about Electro. Like, at all. One time he was fresh out of prison signing autographs outside of my local 7-Eleven and I didn’t even give a fuck. He went to talk to me, perhaps even a jovial “hello.” I wouldn’t know, I didn’t listen. Just raised my hand, hitting him with an “eh, eh.” He seemed pissed. Whatever. Fuck him.

But uh, hit the jump to check him out.

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Man. Doesn’t Vinny D’s recent behavior remind you a lot of the time that Sean Young lost her mind whilst campaigning for the role of Catwoman? Sweet Holy Moley, Vin. Try and keep your geek-cock locked up in them expensive-ass jeans at least until they offer you the role. Amirite?

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Del Toro. C’mon. Stop fucking around with this stuff and make Slaughterhouse Five. I beg you. Beseech you. However — if you insist. In that case, I’m down with this casting. Hot off playing Jimmy Harassson or whatever in Star Trek II: One More Time with Feeling, Del Toro is fingering Benjamin Slumerbuns for a role in Frankenstein. I’ll take it!

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I was a huge fan of Captain Shield Guy, ranking it just behind the original Iron Lad as my favorite Marvel flick. Okay, outside of the Holy Grail Avengers Time. So I’m sweating the sequel, and I’ll gobble up every morsel of news regarding it without shame. Fucking slop on my face, me begging for more. Yes, yes. Give me, give me, give me a teaser poster!

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