Debate over.

Han never rocked this hard.

[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

[cue the music]

KRAKKA-BOOM!

The lightning cuts the atmosphere in half. Believers raise their eyes skyward as they suck in a whiff of ozone, an affirmation of their hopes and dreams. Skeptics raise their eyes skyward, incredulous no more. There is a new presence in the air. A force to be reckoned with. A beautiful blond with a heavy fuggin’ hammer.

THOR. As written by Matt Fraction. And illustrated by Pasqual Ferry.

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[DEFEAT. is Rendar Frankenstein’s truest attempt at fiction.   Presented in weekly episodes, the novella tells the tale of Daryl Millar – a hero who dies at the intersection of pop culture, science-fiction, war epic, and fantasy]

When he thought about it logically, in the practical terms that really make the Earth go `round, Riff knew that there’s no way she’d get with him. She was too smart for him. Too hot for him. Too popular for him. Too old for him. “But I’ll be damned,” he thought, “if Ms. Lang isn’t the finest piece of ass in town.”

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[This! Is! Mad Men! is a recap of the newest developments of Don Draper and his lovable gang of capitalist sleazeballs. Sometimes it’s liveblogged, sometimes not. In the spirit of the show, the post itself will often be sexist and drunk. Apologies ahead of time.]

It’s no secret that Mad Men is filled with flawed characters. From the very first episode, this show has taken the viewers through the ups and downs of some of Madison Avenue’s most promising advertisers. While these trials and tribulations are entertaining in and of themselves, it is more interesting to search for the motivations. What is the impetus that makes [name a character] behave this way? Why are these individuals so incapable of veering away from self destruction?

Tonight, I think Blowing Smoke might have delivered an answer: addiction.

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It goes without saying that OL is unabashedly in favor of superheroes. Both Caffeine Powered and I spend a frightening amount of time reading, writing, and talking about caped justice. But can you blame us? The prototypical superhero is damn full of qualities that most of us wish we could possess – a set of unusual skills/powers, a secret identity, an amazing wardrobe, independent wealth, talented friends, and a sick house.

Even the lamest superhero is cool.

Which brings me to my current point. While there are thousands and thousands of superheroes in existence, the same names are brought to forefront time and again. Who hasn’t heard of Superman or Wolverine? Answer: Nobody.   This isn’t a case of the cream rising to the top, but of *certain* companies being able toss more cash at the marketing of their heroes. Since Marvel and DC have a stranglehold on the comics industry, they have better chances of ensuring that their new characters (i.e. products) become recognizable (i.e. purchasable).

So what does this mean? It means that I am going to guide you through five of the Best Worst Superheroes – characters that were never given the recognition they deserve.

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Jesus Christ, fucking aliens are real! How do I know? How don’t I know, broseph. Take in point the recent unveiling that NASA had photoshopped Saturn’s moons. What are they hiding? The god damn V fleet and its lumbrous, methodical march towards us, to eliminate us and rape us with their fucking reptile cocks and vaginas!

io9:

A conspiracy theorist noticed that an image in NASA’s Astronomy Picture Of The Day had noticeable Photoshop brushstrokes in it, when you turned up the contrast. Is there a mysterious object hiding near Saturn’s moons?

A YouTube user named DominatorPS3 turned up the contrast on the image, and discovered brush strokes. You can just about see a “rainbow aura” around the object that’s been blacked out.

DominatorPS3 said: “More solid proof of NASA/ government cover-ups. And this is recent. You can do this yourself!!” Dominator PS3’s tell-all YouTube video has been taken down, allegedly because he received death threats. But he’s put up a follow-up video, which you can watch here

The truth is fucking out there, yo! Good job to Lies Assassin DominatorPS3 for their exposing of the Truth Killers over at NASA! With a name like DominatorPS3, you pretty much know this person is fucking legit. Who wouldn’t believe this person? A fascist pig from NASA, Emily Lakdawalla, tried to explain their covering up of Eradication Army X:

io9 via planetary.org:

Cassini takes color pictures by snapping three sequential photos through red, green, and blue filters. In the time that separated the three frames, Dione moved, so if I did a simple color composite I would be able to make Titan look right, but not Dione; or Dione look right, but not Titan. So I aligned Dione, cut it out, and then aligned Titan, and then had to account for the missing bits of shadow where the bits of Dione had been in two of the three channels.

As if I was going to believe that shit! Nice try Emily, if that’s even your fucking name! For all I know, you’re probably an alien plant, working from within the government. Pfft. You may trick the proles, but I ain’t falling for that shit. Neither are the legions of Veracity Warriors that I roll with!

To arms!

Rafael Grampa is a gahdamn stud. While he hasn’t had too many releases in the States, the shit that has dropped has been spectacular, astonishing, amazing, sensational, fantastic, and uncanny (hrm…I can’t think of any DC titles with modifiers).

This trend looks to continue with Strange Tales 2. Grampá describes his contribution to the anthology in the following terms:

Here is two of the eight page story that I did for the Marvel’s anthology STRANGE TALES II. It is the main story of VOL. II and I have to say that I’m really proud of it. I did the script, art and colors — a tentative for a new vision for the palette of the 80′s comics. It is a “mutant wrestler” story (could be cool if it was a genre, huh?), very violent and “sweet” at the same time.

[Furrywater]

Strange Tales 2 hits stores 10/13/2010.

[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

S.H.I.E.L.D. is the best comic book currently being published.

This isn’t a new revelation. I’ve held this opinion for awhile now. And I stand by it.

The newest issue simply reaffirms the beliefs I’ve held, further developing a story that delivers some heavy ideas through an original plot. What is the story at hand? Well, it’s pretty simple: Isaac Newton is in charge of the Shield, an organization that has protected the human race from extinction for thousands of years. Unfortunately, Newton is evil and has involved himself in a number of shady dealings like killing Galileo and enslaving Nostradamus so that he can uncover the secrets of the Five-Fold Understanding.

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[DEFEAT. is Rendar Frankenstein’s truest attempt at fiction.   Presented in weekly episodes, the novella tells the tale of Daryl Millar – a hero who dies at the intersection of pop culture, science-fiction, war epic, and fantasy]

Daryl got out of the car, took three steps, and then stopped dead in his tracks.

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[This! Is! Mad Men! is a recap of the newest developments of Don Draper and his lovable gang of capitalist sleazeballs. Sometimes it’s liveblogged, sometimes not. In the spirit of the show, the post itself will often be sexist and drunk. Apologies ahead of time.]

Last week the shit hit the fan. And Don Draper’s going to have to listen to some Kanye to find out if “Everything I’m not made me everything I am.”

Yikes. Weak reference. PULL IT TOGETHER, KRUEGER!

SCDP is in shambles. Part of the downfall can be attributed Roger hiding the fact they’re losing the Big Tobacco account on which they’ve survived. Lucky Strike is out and SCDP is going to be SOL.

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