#Caffeine Powered
Weekend Open Bar: Life On Hoth!
Oh dip! Living the Hoth Life here on the Eastern Seaboard of the Empire. I can’t grouse too much, though. It’s been a mild winter thus far. But whether or not you’re hunkering down away from the snow or surfing gnarly rays of light, come hither! Gather up to one of my Post-Apocalyptic Trash Fires burning in the Space-Ship Omega. Grab your favorite beverage from the Open Bar. And then share what you’re doing this weekend!
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‘X-Men: Apocalypse’ casts Sansa as Jean Grey, Sheridan as Cyclops, Shipp as Storm
OOPH. My pledge to not fucking tease bullshit in headlines was directly challenged by my desire to not sport enormous, unwieldy headlines. But hey I don’t proofread and I scream “STOP ENFORCING CULTURAL CAPITAL” when people talk about “spelling” something “correctly” so fucking fuck it! Oh yeah this isn’t about me. Storm, Cyclops, and Jean Grey have been cast in X-Men: Apocalypse.
Marvel wants Chiwetel Ejiofor for ‘Doctor Strange’ role
Yeah okay Marvel is considering Chiwetel Ejiofor for a role in Doctor Strange. Fucking GREAT. No seriously. He rules. But more pressing to me? Why the fuck are we spelling out Doctor? I have crusty seminal fluid-fingers and ADD. Typing is hard, I’m distracted. Do you understand how much time typing out the rest of the word WASTES WHEN I COUDL BE TUMBLING BUTTZ? FUCK.
‘The Expanse’ Trailer: Syfy adapts a current sci-fi classic
The Expanse is currently my favorite running science-fiction series. Do I have any faith in Syfy doing it justice? Naw, but I have years of them sucking raw farts to corroborate my feelings. Does this trailer make me think they’re going to pull off an excellent adaptation? Naw, but I only have two minutes to base my feelings on. It seems adequate, though. Adequate and stuff.
CBS casts Melissa Benoist as lead in ‘Supergirl’ TV show
To be honest: I totally wouldn’t have fucking covered this if I hadn’t just seen Melissa Benoist in Whiplash. Excellent movie, excellent actress. But fuck yeah who gives a shit for the reason, amirite? I was a bit smitten with her after the movie, and so I’m going to check this show out now. #WHATEVERFUCKYOU
Tina Fey’s ‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’ Trailer: Candy for dinner!
I’m going to check out anything that Tina Fey is attached to. And, I guess, Ellie Kemper. But I’m hoping Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt turns out funnier than this trailer.
Rumor: Batfleck appearing in ‘Suicide Squad’ before his solo flick. ‘Cause Batman.
DC knows what you want, fuckers! They have studied your genitals’ heat fluctuations. The ones that occur when they murmur superheroes’ names into your ear-brain while you sleep. And they’ve found that you pretty much only give a shit about Batman. So you’ll get him. In everything.
‘The Order: 1886’ Story Trailer: Mustachioed White Dudes & Werewolves
I’m stoked for The Order: 1776 – Hope You Like Steampunk Horror, Fuckface. It’s a long title, but it’s also like the second game dropping for the PlayDate 4 that was developed exclusively for it. As a killer app graphics wow-wow time or whatever.
Fox may bring ‘X-Files’ back, Duchovny and Anderson are interested.
So yeah okay Fox wants to bring X-Files back. And even if I could scrape the terribleness that was the last two seasons off of my Brain Plate, I don’t think I’d be down for this. It’s been so goddamn long, the zeitgeist has passed, you can’t rebottle the lightning. Et cetera. That said, I’ll watch it.
Microsoft reveals the HoloLens, their stab at an augmented reality headset
‘Cause everybody is down with a fucking virtual-reality-augmented-reality-altered-reality-something-reality headset of their own these days. Microsoft’s iteration is more holodeck than it is virtual reality. And like Oculus Rift and all the others it seems cool enough, yeah, okay, but I’m not dying to own one.
