#August2012
Scientists EXTRACT PRIVATE INFORMATION using off-the-shelf brainware scanners. Good grief.
Welcome to the future, where we can read your mind. We toy with God, and I cannot wait until he decides to smite us. Some scientists have conjured up a way to extract private information from our brains using off-the-shelf brainware gadgets. Sounds bananas. Sounds like Inception but without the painful exposition and boring love story.
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Russian all-girl band PUSSY RIOT gets two years in prison for insulting Putin and church.
Every once in a while, even my ungrateful ass appreciates my country. Today is one of those days. It was pretty impressive how Vladimir Putin rigged last year’s elections, and even more impressive how no one around the US gave a shit. This? This is just scary. An all-girl band by the name of Pussy Riot has been sentenced to jail for talking shit about the Ruzzian czar in front of a church.
Video: The ‘BIOSHOCK SONG’ will carry you until Infinite drops.
Bummed out because BioShock Infinite is delayed into infinity and having serious development problems? Sate yourself with this glorious BioShock song.
Vin Diesel is teasing he’ll be The Vision in ‘AVENGERS 2’, people actually believe him.
Golly gosh! With Avengers 2 three years out, the script nowhere in sight, and Vin Diesel categorically one of the worst actors of all time, somehow people are believing the dude may actually be The Vision. This reminds me of that Sean Young tipped the world off to how crazy she was by campaigning for Catwoman.
Real dude named Walter White is wanted for cooking meth. The Multiverse is bleeding!
Within the parameters of the Multiverse, everything that is possible is happening. Keeping that in mind, I ain’t surprised that Walter White has been busted for cooking meth. What concerns me is that the reality where that occurred is beginning to merge with our own. Gulp!
Video: Scientists model evolution of the Universe using a supercomputer.
Want to see a modeling of the universe using a wunder-computer? Of course you do. Don’t pretend otherwise.
BANE wants you to wash your goddamn car.
I”m still enjoying amusing riffs on Bane’s overwrought dialogue from The Bruce Wayne Climbs. Even if I am the only one, no fucks given! I’ve been known to cut a rug on the dance floor by myself.
‘MASS EFFECT’ plush dolls are as adorable as the ending is deplorable. I know, I know.
Someday I’m going to let go of my disdain for the ending to the first Mass Effect trilogy. Someday. When monkeys fly out of my butt! Groans from the audience. Resentful rimshot from the band drummer. For now enjoy these plushies by viciouspretty.
Press Start: moist palms and stat-tracking qualms
This week my prayers were finally answered. After weeks of ceremoniously burning copies of Too Human as sacrifice to my polygonal God, the games industry has finally started moving again. This week’s Games Con saw a whole host of sexy new trailers and announcements, including the likes of Star Wars: 1313, Metal Gear Rising and the impressive Remember Me.
Now that you’ve watched those, here’s my selection of the not quite so prominent goings-on in the games industry, or at least the happenings that won’t just result in two paragraphs of me gushing like a schoolboy.
Blizzard drops ‘MISTS OF PANDARIA’ CINEMATIC TRAILER. Panda bear beats orc? That dun sound right.
An orc. Yeah, you know. Like infinity years of war, forged from Satan’s jizz rags, nineteen feet tall, born to kill. Obviously bested by Jack Black in a furry outfit.
