Pushed aside by his siblings, there’s no chance for the little one to suckle the teat. The others become fat and content, gorging incessantly on the readily-available sustenance. The runt must find a new source, a way to survive despite being rejected by Mother Society.

And so he crawls, one painful movement at a time, towards the avuncular alternative. It is not an easy trek, but it is rewarding. For Father Nerd turns away nary a soul.

–-

This is the Monday Morning Commute, the post where we share what we’ll be doing over the course of the next week. Come on in, wrap yourself in a snuggie, take a shot of Crystal Pepsi, and tell me what type of debauchery you’ll be filling your time with.

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Today, NASA announced the finding of Kepler 10-b, and it’s the first “confirmed discovery of a rocky planet around another star.” Righteous! It’s also the most Earth-like of all the exoplanets that have been found, clocking in at 1.4 times the size of our lovely Blue Marble.

Don’t pack your fucking bags yet though, cautions io9:

Unfortunately, Kepler-10b doesn’t fit any of the other criteria for a potentially habitable planet. It’s 20 times closer to its star than Mercury is to ours, placing it far from the habitable zone that would allow life to survive there. Indeed, Kepler-10b races around its star, completing an orbit every 0.84 days. And, though it’s only 1.4 times the size of Earth, Kepler-10b is a dense world, with a mass 4.6 times that of Earth and an average density similar to an iron dumbbell.

Totally depressed now? Yeah, me too. Frak. Scientist Douglas Hudgins drops some encouraging words:

The discovery of Kepler 10-b is a significant milestone in the search for planets similar to our own. Although this planet is not in the habitable zone, the exciting find showcases the kinds of discoveries made possible by the mission and the promise of many more to come.

Well then! Party on.

It’s easy to make geeks splooge. Just throw some Super Mario Bros. sounds into something seemingly ill-fitting, and we’re already at half-mast. Take for example Marshawn Lynch’s ridiculous run against the Saints on Saturday. It was already amazing. But throw some Mario sound effects as a soundtrack? Stop, boner time!

Hit the jump for the video.

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Hinode, NASA’s solar observatory caught the solar eclipse. Oh goodness, it’s a stunning sight. Over at Bad Astronomy, Phil Plait puts it into perspective,  saying the “cool thing is the size difference between the Sun and the Moon. The Sun is roughly 400x bigger than the Moon and 400x farther away, so they look about the same size in the sky. But the Moon orbits the Earth in an ellipse, and can change its distance to us by quite a bit, well over 10% – that means its apparent diameter as seen on Earth can change by 10% too.”

Hit the jump for the video. It’s sexy.

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Some artwork has leaked today that has Red Skull concept art written all over it. I hope this is legit content from the Captain America movie, ’cause it looks gorgeous. Want to take a look at the full artwork? Hit the jump.

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World of Warcraft: Cataclysm is the fastest selling PC game of all time. If you’re willing to overlook the fact that it’s an expansion and not a full retail release. I am. The game it beat? Of course, its older brother, Wrath of the Lich King. Cataclysm has sold 4.7 million copies in a month.

A month!

In their article about the news, Kotaku has quotes Blizzard CEO Mike Morhaime jerking off, rightfully so, to the accomplishment:

We created thousands of new quests, introduced new lands to explore and extensively revamped the game world for World of Warcraft: Cataclysm, making it our biggest and most ambitious expansion yet.

[cont]

We’ve been floored by the community’s response so far, and we’d like to thank them for their continued passion and support for World of Warcraft, and for helping Cataclysm reach this incredible milestone.

I played a good seven hours of Cataclysm last night, so I think it’s obvious where I stand. Despite playing it sparsely over the past month due to school, the holidays, friends, and Black Ops, it’s a gorgeous product. Here’s hoping it doesn’t consume me entirely like past expansions.

My friend The Dude who regularly comments here is a complete fanboy for the Brotherhood of Steel. I think when/if he sees this helmet, the priapism that follows may actually be written into future editions of the Bible.  This gorgeous Brotherhood power helmet courtesy of Josh Jay. Whenever the apocalypse hits, and believe me its soon, I’ll be heading to him for some fucking righteous armor. Now who got my plasma rifle?

Hit the jump for pictures of the power helmet. It’s sexy.

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I don’t think anyone was expecting much from Season of the Witch. So in that respect, I guess it doesn’t disappoint. The film has been rotting in distribution hell for 10 months now. It was originally slated for a March 2010 release, but sour business between Lionsgate and Relativity Media forced it to be shelved…until now. Cage’s presence is probably the only factor that saved this silly film from a direct to DVD ditch.

Personally, I will see anything with Nic Cage in it. I think he’s a genius. And in college I studied under one of the leading Black Plague scholars, Dr. Donna Vinson. So Cage starring in a Black Plague-related film? Sounded like a dream. But as more and more info trickled out, it became obvious SotW was going to be a throwaway in Cage’s oeuvre. I took the bullet anyway – just for you guys.

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Some internet being is trying to sell a new-in-the-box set of Zelda dinnerware for upwards of $100,000. The uh, gorgeous set was released in 1989, and is apparently like totally rare. The description on the eBay page mentions that some of the uh, hopeful $100,000 will go to the Red Cross:

The box is in excellent condition with some wonderful artwork on the back. There is a sheet of plastic covering the window on the front of the box which is still completely intact with no tears! The set includes a plate, a cup and a bowl. I have looked all over the internet for this set, but I have only seen people with the pieces of the set and not the entire set all together in the original box.

This is really a rare find and it is likely that there is no other such set even complete together in existence still today. If you are a collector of Nintendo or Legend of Zelda items, this is a must have. It was made by Peter Pan and is officially licensed by Nintendo. I am going to put a donation on this auction too because if this is going to sell for what it should sell for, then I think part of that money should go to a charity.

Starting bid is at $15,000. Asking price is $100,000. I got $75, who wants to go halfsies? It’s for fucking charity, ya pricks!

Via.

Hugo Weaving is playing the nefarious Red Skull in the upcoming Captain America movie. And as Skull, he’s going to be hunting down the reality-warping Cosmic Cube to use against the Allies. Fucking Nazis, man. Want a look at the Red Skull, holding the Cosmic Cube?

Hit the jump.

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