The dictator of Activision Bobby Kotick is a grand mal douchebag. We all know that already. What I didn’t know, however, was that he was involved in charges of unlawful rump-tickling and unwanted sexual advances. It makes sense, given his previously estimated levels of doucheosity. Intrigued? Here you go.

Kotaku:

Activision boss Bobby Kotick has lost a legal stoush with renowned lawyer Patricia Glaser over a 2007 sexual harassment case involving Kotick’s private jet and one of its former flight attendants.

Kotick and Andrew Gordon, the head of the LA branch of Goldman Sachs investment bankers, run a company called Cove Management, which was created to essentially run a private jet the two men co-owned. One of their pilots was a man by the name of Phil Berg.

Anyway, it was alleged by Cynthia Madvig, a former flight attendant on the jet, that in 2006 Berg pressured her into being his “arm candy”; in other words, a public escort, someone to join him at dinner parties and the like. Madvig declined, at which Berg allegedly “set out to make life miserable” for her, including one instance where she says he made her clean the plane’s toilet while he stood there “leering” at her.

…Kotick & Gordon have ended up paying Glaser’s firm more than they paid Madvig; Madvig settled out for court for $200,000 (plus $475,000 for legal fees), while a court last year ruled that Kotick & Gordon had significantly under-paid Glaser, and awarded her $938,458 (plus $479,898 in fees).

Take that, Kotick! Seriously though, this came out of left field, but only goes on to confirm what I’ve known: Bobby Kotick is El Diablo.

Source: Mad Gear Solid

Hell yeah! You have to give it up to crotch-infused Soviet power! There’s something to be said for thick, gorgeous swatches of chest hair, Hammer & Sickle thunder, and most importantly, spinning lariats of doom. Blanka knows. You do too. Embrace it.

There’s been talk for a while that Robert Rodriguez may be the dude to direct the Deadpool movie. And in the last day or so it seems to be more and more likely we could get this shit in our welcoming nerd mouths. Surely you jest! Naw son, it’s really happening. Apparently at this point Fox and Rodriguez are in active negotiations. I say? Give this dude what he fucking wants.

Deadpool is, at his best, an absolutely ridiculous, ultra-violent chap. Rodriguez, at his best, brings movies of absolutely ridiculous ultra-violence. In a perfect world this shit is a hard R, and we can see some gruesome hysteria. But now I’m gettin’ greedy. Seriously though, the fucked up mind behind Machete, Planet Terror, and the adaptation of Sin City? Win, win, win!

What do you guys think? Hit the comments box, let’s chat.

A listless dragging on of the summer has revealed something to me: I don’t care for the summer. I mean, theoretically when I’m not a bum and I have an actual job teaching, it shall be my reprieve. Theoretically. But once I get into July, all I’m doing is sitting around, hating the heat, hating the fact that I get pit stains within moments of getting dressed, and waiting for crisp air. I love the Fall. I sort of like the Winter. But once you get past 75 degrees (I don’t know what that translates to in the measurement system outside the Empire), I’m a sweaty groaning mess.

Monday Morning Commute. Every Monday I’m going to detail the various things I’m either currently or will be watching, reading, playing, and listening to in the next seven days. It’s Monday. You’ve got a long week of school, work, or compulsive masturbation to get through. Tell me what you’re diggin’ on to get through the drudgery.

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Source: Jim of Rapture / Click To Enlarge

[This! Is! Mad Men! recaps the newest developments of Don Draper and his ragtag group of cohorts. In the spirit of the show, it will often be sexist and drunk. Apologies ahead of time.]

In the Spirit of the Season

Right off the bat, I’m going to issue a complaint about last night’s episode of Mad Men. My grievance doesn’t pertain to the writing, directing, acting, or production — all of this was superb. Instead, I’m going to whine because it’s only August and this is a Christmas episode. It’s just too early to be this damn fired up about the most wonderful time of the year! I just know I’m going to spend the next four months writing and proofing a letter to Santa, scouring supermarkets for eggnog, and staying up late to listen for sleigh bells.

But seriously, congrats Mad Men – you’re now in league with all those other shows with sick Christmas episodes.   I’ll definitely re-watch this episode on December 24^th.

Okay, let’s bite into the sweet pulp that is Christmas Comes But Once a Year.

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As I’ve mentioned probably too many times by now, Matt Fraction and Pasqual Ferry are taking over the Thor mothership this Fall on the titular comic. And I reckon there ain’t nobody round these parts that is as excited about it as I am. In fact, should they sell out of the issue before I get to the comic book store that week, there will be left only cinders and perhaps the Lara Croft stand-up where once laid a peddler of graphic novels and cheesy t-shirts.

In an effort to send me into absolute glee, Marvel has dropped some preview pages from Thor #615, which I found over at Comics Alliance. Hit the jump to check out the gorgeous artwork, and contemplate how far away September seems.

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For years, rumors and whispers have abounded that Frank Miller would return to Batman by having him fight Al Qaeda. The project, titled Holy Terror, Batman!, has been plagued by criticism and alleged concerns of DC’s higher-ups (I guess I could see how depicting a superhero as fighting a real-life terror network could be seen as an obscene act of trivialization).

Well, according to the LA Times, Frank Miller is still going ahead with the project; just without the caped crusader. In place of Bruce Wayne, a new hero called The Fixer will battle Al Qaeda. Miller explains:

“I pushed Batman as far as he can go and after a while he stops being Batman. My guy carries a couple of guns and is up against an existential threat. He’s not just up against a goofy villain. Ignoring an enemy that’s committed to our annihilation is kind of silly, It just seems that chasing the Riddler around seems silly compared to  what’s going on out there. I’ve taken Batman as far as he can go.”

“It began as my reaction to 9/11 and it was an extremely angry piece of work and as the years have passed by I’ve done movies and I’ve done other things and time has provided some good distance, so it becomes more of a cohesive story as it progresses. The Fixer has also become his own character in a way I’ve really enjoyed. No one will read this and think, ‘Where’s Batman?‘”

I see all of the potential problems that will arise from the release of this project (which, by the way, DC is not going to be involved in). With that being said, I can’t help but get excited about new Frank Miller work – he’s a goddamn comics legend and anything he releases is at least worth considering.

A page from Holy Terror!

The campaign trailer for Halo: Reach dropped yesterday, and I’m not impressed. Not, one, lick! And here’s the thing, I can’t really imagine anyone being impressed by it. I’ve read reviews of it from people that read something like “…I’ve never been a Halo fan, but this really made me interested.”

Really?

C’mon now. It’s as unimpressive visually as every other Halo game has been since the second one. And equally uninspired. It’s a bunch of dickbags in enormous armor staring off into space and doing other equally un-engaging things. If you’re   Master Douche Fanboy, then I can see being excited by it. But if you’re on the fence, or furthermore, you don’t dig the franchise? I see no reason why this trailer would swing you.

Countless games have had sexier and more cinematic trailers cut. Now, I’m not saying that a sexy trailer equals a great game, but I am saying that if you weren’t convinced about Reach, I have no idea how a trailer that is made to look like dogshit by just about every trailer I’ve seen lately from a Call of Duty game, or Borderlands, of name a Gears of War, will persuade you.

Me? I’ve always been “eh” about Halo. I play the titles because they’re usually enjoyable for the duration, but I’ve never understood the Rampant Fapping that takes place, and I certainly see nothing special about this trailer. It didn’t dissuade me from buying it, but it certainly didn’t knock my socks off.

Want to be the judge? Hit the jump and check out the trailer.

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In the future, I’ll be able to eat a burger that was cultured from the skin cells of cows, cross-spliced with that of a new born baby T-Rex with a splash of decaying dodo bird. But for now? For now I’ll have to satisfy myself with the notion that I can head over to Europe and eat cloned steak. Welcome to the fucking future!:

New Scientist:

Have cloned meat and dairy products found their way onto the shelves of shops in Europe? Yes, if you believe the Swiss government and the claims of an unnamed British dairy farmer who told The New York Times that he is selling milk from a cow bred from a clone.

&

Material from cloned animals and their offspring is likely to be on the European market already… It is known that imports already began being made some years ago. Once imported, genetic material from cloned animals can spread quickly throughout livestock in Europe, removing choice for farmers and consumers.

Oh Europe! You folks are truly the bees knees. I can’t be the only one who gets a nerdboner while contemplating eating something that is a clone, can I? I mean, I’m not lucky enough to be able to munch on the withering, jerky-esque skull of a clone like Boba Fett, but I’ll take this. Meet me in England!