Monsters are awesome.

Whether reading about them being chopped down in classics like Beowulf or watching them wreak havoc in new forays such as Cloverfield, there seems to be a timeless love affair with monsters. And my (admittedly limited) knowledge of world culture tells me this isn’t just an American lust — Puerto Rico houses the chupacabra, Egypt touts the mummy, and Japan…well, everyone knows about Japan’s contribution.

While I love watching monsters do their whole loathe/kill/destroy humanity thing, I find it a bit more enjoyable to watch them on their downtime. It’s like being a fan of a band — at a certain point, your respect for their work drives you  to become curious about their personal lives. This is nothing to be ashamed about.

Fortunately, with the 1960’s came The Munsters — a sitcom devoted to showing how monsters really behave.

In case you’ve never seen the show, the basic premise is as follows: a Frankenstein named Herman is in an interspecies marriage with a vampire named Lily. Somehow, these two have managed to procreate — resulting in their son Eddie, a werewolf. To appease his father-in-law’s racist skepticism of Frankensteins, Herman supports Grandpa by allowing him to shack up with them at the 1313 Mockingbird Lane residence. To top it all off, Lily’s superhot (somehow human) niece Marilyn lives with them too.

The Munsters helps us learn that monsters just regular people, uh, well, regular things like  you  and me.  Also, the show utilizes laugh-tracks and fast-motion, both of which are plus-signs in my rank book.

Oh, and don’t even bother waltzing in here with any arguments about The Addams Family even being a contender against The Munsters. One is a show about mythical beings living together and the other is about a bunch of damn freaks and perverts.

If I wanted to see that, I’d just eat dinner with my family.

I may be finally starting to lose my mind. For real. I’ve spent the early evening inside of a slightly metrosexual argyle sweater, listening to Led Zeppelin II and drinking beer. While I’m enjoying bathing in the autumn air pouring in from my open window, I’m starting to worry that I may start shouting out of it.

Luckily, I’ve made a promise to both Caffeine-Powered and myself to delivery a weekly beverage review, so any open condemnations of society will have to wait. It is time to talk about beer and nothing is more important than that!

This week, I repealed my declaration against seasonal brews. Still leaving the hay-themed pumpkin-flavored whatnots to others, I picked up a six pack of Gritty McDuff’s Halloween Ale. Yes — I am a sucker and the label with a decapitated head is what initially sold me. Fuck, we’re in the beginning of the goddamn OCTOBERFEAST and I can’t help but get excited by horror-themed promotions.

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You have to appreciate the sort of shitty, douchebag business model that Capcom pushes. There was already a total uproar over Resident Evil 5’s multiplayer modes being sold as DLC instead of being packaged on the disc. And now? Grease up your butts, they’re releasing Super Street Fighter IV as a full retail release. What does SSFIV bring to us gamers?

Via Kotaku:

Capcom today have announced Super Street Fighter IV, a new, standalone title which is Street Fighter IV with eight new characters added and some tweaks made based on community feedback.

A full retail release? For eight new characters? You have to be fucking kidding me. I find it mind boggling that they need a full retail release for eight new characters and some “tweaks” – a beautifully nebulous and indistinct term – while companies like Bethesda offer new episodic content for $12.50. Don’t fucking fret, Capcom has their asses covered. Tell us Capcom, why can’t you release this as DLC?

Ono says the changes are so extensive that they couldn’t just be tacked on, so a disc release was necessary.

Really? Really? Really? I’d like to spin kick whoever believes that shit. Anyone who has played WoW knows the sort of stuff they can do via downloads and patches. The entire game can be remade for Christ’s sake. But these nebulous tweaks can’t be sold through Live! or PSN?

But don’t worry, it probably, maybe, certainly wouldn’t be full price. Apparently it’ll come with some sort of reduced price, and get this, an as-of-yet unannounced, special treat for people who own both the original SFIV and SSFIV.

Here’s hoping it’s some salve, for the bruised ass Capcom is going to leave you with.

Ghostbusters II is an absolute cinematic masterpiece. No other film provides quite a perfect blend of humor, science fiction, horror and (of course) Ernie Hudson. Thinking about it now, I realize that I have probably watched this movie from start to finish more than any other. The sequel to Ghostbusters is an important part of my life and I hope that it is for you as well.

But just in case it isn’t, I’ve decided to use OCTOBERFEAST to persuade you. A little known fact is Ghostbusters II features Bobby Brown’s On Our Own, known to critics and thespians everywhere as the all-time greatest song in a soundtrack. Yes, even before marrying & ruining Whitney Houston, Bobby Brown was doing fantastic things.

For your viewing pleasure…And to help you prepare for the impending invasion of ghouls and ghosts…

Bobby Brown’s On Our Own — set to a terrible slide show of still shots from Ghostbusters II:

What’s the insect-equivalent of PETA? Some hippies somewhere are going to be seriously pissed about this:

Via New Scientist:

It’s tempting to call them lords of the flies. For the first time, researchers have controlled the movements of free-flying insects from afar, as if they were tiny remote-controlled aircraft.

By connecting electrodes and radio antennas to the nervous systems of beetles, the researchers were able to make them take off, dive and turn on command. The cyborg insects were created at the University of California, Berkeley, by engineers led by Hirotaka Sato and Michel Maharbiz as part of a programme funded by the Pentagon’s Defence Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA).

Double fucking awesome is the Metal Gear-referenced DARPA being involved. Someone call up Nietzsche, it appears we have finally killed God. Next time I see a beetle I’m going to have to stomp it, fearful it’s being controlled by foes to asphyxiate me in my sleep.

I’m sorry for those already offended. But I have a serious question. Or rather, a juvenile question that crossed my mind. Does triple penetration count, if you’re cheesing it with a sex toy instead of a finger or even tongue or weiner?

I mean, I find it impressive. Don’t get me wrong. But it’s sort of like how the Red Sox won the Wild Card with a Rangers’ loss. It counts, but it just isn’t the same. C’mon, you know you want to comment.

Ah, Bayonetta. On a nightly basis, I get into debates with myself over the merits of Bayonetta. On one hand, it seems like an amazing game. It stars a gorgeous woman with GLASSES, and features Devil May Cry-esque gameplay. On the other hand, it seems like the most amazing and flagrant female objectification in a long time. I take a moral stand for about fourteen seconds, before I’m amazingly defenseless in the face of a gorgeous woman and sleek gameplay.

Fearful of being outdone by anyone in the super-sexy-uber-sexual game department, Capcom has released a commercial for Bayonetta in Japan which features cleavage, ass shots, and yes, lollipop sucking. Top it all off with the tagline, “Nonstop Climax Action.” Amazing.

Check the video out after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Today is the first day of October, unofficially the sickest month of all. Although September and November try to represent, October is autumn. This is the month you use for apple-picking, seasonal beers, hayrides, frolics in pumpkin patches, and all that other good stuff. Living in New England, I get to see sick foliage every time I step outside. In a sense, life is good.

But most importantly, October is all about Halloween.

Question: Is there a better holiday?

Answer: No.

Christmas? Thanksgiving? Arbor Day? Fuck that. Halloween is a celebration of costumes, free candy, horror movies, vandalism, alcohol consumption, Satanism, and carved-out pumpkin-decapitations. At a concert a few years back, I heard Mikael Akerfeldt describe Halloween perfectly: “All Hallow’s Eve…Will you trick and treat? Or get drunk and fuck?”

In honor of Halloween and its preceding month, I am presenting Omega-Level’s First (and Last) Annual OCTOBERFEAST. Once a day, I am going to post a video that has a connection to either Halloween or October. Sometimes, the connection will be clear and solid. Other times, the connection will be tenuous at best (probably when I try to post after doing the Friday Brew Review). But at the very least, I’m helping you get into the holiday spirit.

So, without further adieu…

The goddamn Monster Mash:

Kristen Bell is a bit of a hot button topic for me. Why, you ask? Because every time I see her, I become convinced of two things:

1. If I could just meet her, I’d probably be able to persuade her into dating me. I’m witty, not completely ugly, and I would be willing to wait on her hand and foot. Plus, she dated that dillhole Dax Shepard.
2. She is the penultimate nerd’s wet dream. She’s cute, she has a hell of a body, and she starred in a movie about Star Wars, and used the word “frak” on her television show Veronica Mars

Well, Kristen Bell did voice acting for the game Assassin’s Creed. And now apparently she’s back to reprise her role as something or someone or some such in the sequel. Yeah, I didn’t play the original. But! I’m meaning to, since I’ve heard the sequel is like, you know, like the original except improved in every way. Here, let’s hear Kristen talk about doing some voice acting, and just nod our head and not really care about what she’s saying, so awed are we by her presence:

Via Destructoid:

“As an actress, it’s both challenging and rewarding to play a complex character with this great mysterious background,” she says. “I’m very happy to be Lucy once more, and I look forward to fans discovering more about her – they will be pleasantly surprised.”

Uh, yeah, that all sounds great and amazing. Wait, what were you talking about?