I come to you, friends, from the Precipice of Doom. That’s right, I’m awaiting Bateman to pick me up in his charlatan chariot, and whisk me away to Montreal with the majority of OL for a Bachelor Weekend for a mutual friend. I come to, you, one Bateman-on-his-phone away-driving-100mph from the obliteration of Space-Ship Omega. I’m being dramatic, but I do anticipate witnessing some *shit* this weekend, the eye of a mellifluous maelstrom.

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I’m so bad about actually posting original content these days. Staggering even my MMCs and my Weekend Open Bars. Mea culpa, mea lazy, mea mea, something something! But I’m opening the bar! Goddamn Saturday night! But I’m opening the bar! Goddamn last, ain’t no one gonna come! You reap what you sow! Which is why I have terrible gas, a shitty beard, and low audience participation!

I hope you’ll saddle up to the bar! Though it be late, opened. I hope you’re share what you’re up to across the rest of the weekend! Though it be late, my inquiry.

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It’s the freakin’ Weekend, baby! Halloween Weekend, to be exact! Slice your flesh-sack, provide the blood to the altar! Summon a wonderful fucking weekend for yourself, and the other denizens of the Perpetually Decaying Universe! Entropy! Ain’t nothing more fucking terrifying than that! But we’re here! We’re here, together! So let’s hang out at the Open Bar!

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