Have I already written an intro where I apologise for it being a ‘quiet news week’ and then try to make light of the situation and appear witty and insightful by pretending that I know lots about the video game industry? I have? Damn. Well, somehow the games industry has managed to stay quiet throughout NYCC. Go figure. The nether realm is upon us and reality has collapsed into itself. I don’t believe in anything any more.
Look at motherfucking Pikachu. All done up in warrior paint asking us to tell him he isn’t a man. Brah! Pikachu. I tell him. You don’t need to hold onto such antiquated notions of masculinity. I totally found you an appropriate male paradigm when you were huggable. Drop the sword. Let’s be lovers.
Gotta crap em all? Get it? This story is insane. It involves competitive video games, feces launching, and a hotel.