LOST could be making a comeback if Damon Lindelof’s titty teaser has any weight behind it. Promoting Prometheus or some shit, the maestro hinted yet again that we haven’t seen the end of the Island.
[image courtesy of slashfilm]
Fug yeah, Damon Lindelof is starting work on the script for the Star Trek sequel. I’m stoked, stoked, I say!
I can only imagine he may in fact be a bit excited to work on something that isn’t a monstrous, unwieldy bloated mess, too. I mean, I love LOST, despite its flaws; and intrepid LOST fans, spending more than ten minutes after the emotional resonancy of the finale has worn off will bring countless to light. By the end, it must have seem burdensome for everyone involved. But here Lindelof will get to work with a universe, while enormous, isn’t attempting to tie together six seasons of storylines with a bow.
Or, I suppose, not tie them all together! Zing!
No seriously though, I’m excited.
[via all games beta, click to enlarge]
It’s been a busy five months of blogging LOST, and so tonight I’m treating myself to a Slurpee and a FAMILY SIZE bag of skittles. Yeah dude, I’m living it up! I remember when I, in a moment of caffeine madness, decided that I would post something about LOST everyday for a month leading up to the beginning of the final season. It seemed like such a good idea at the time, and then by day fifteen I was all “Fucking Hell, Drinkwater, what have you gotten yourself into?”
But it’s been a surreal, exhausting, and really, really rewarding trip. There was a pants-filling moment somewhere during the middle of “Remember That Time On LOST When?” that I realized that people were actually reading the bullshit I was churning out into a WordPress document. Like, people expected and actually enjoyed what I wrote every Wednesday. I’ve blathered to Pepsibones and myself for years, but the idea that people were actively engaging in what I wrote was pretty thrilling.
Nothing was more exciting than seeing people post in the comments, even if it was to disagree with me.
I can’t even begin to fathom the amount of hours, hundreds of pictures, and thousands upon thousands of words I’ve gone through chronicling LOST. And really, it’s sort of trippy that not only the journey of LOST is over, but so is this really enormous undertaking that I’ve been carrying for all of 2010. I’m almost sort of bummed that OL didn’t exist earlier, so we could have done this all together for a much longer time.
Every entry was made possible by absolutely, positively, ridiculous amounts of caffeine, the ability to ignore hundreds of pages of grad work I had to do, and the encouragement of an assload of friends, particularly Tommy Rock, who shared my insane passion for the show. Even our darkest moments of abject hate were spurned by what was really an unhealthy love for the potential and highest moments of the show.
In the end though, this is just a formal “Thank You” and “You’re Awesome” to everyone who has read, commented, and shared my LOST recaps with others. As insane as the pressure of having to deliver recaps every Wednesday was, the support and enthusiasm from people who have come across it has more than made up for it. So big ups, and high-fives to all of you who have accompanied me on Oceanic Omega for this redonkulous expedition.
It’s been radical thanks to all of you.
After the show concluded last night, after the screen faded to black for the last time, after the credits rolled, Pepsibones sat on my couch next to me. He was happy, and had enjoyed the final episode. A lot. And so had I. And he rubbed his temples and he said “I don’t want to have to talk to anyone about this episode.” That’s almost perfectly how I feel about writing this final recap of the final episode of one of my favorite shows ever.
As the days counted down to the conclusion of LOST, I began obsessing over the enormity of what Lindelof, Cuse and the rest of the team had undertaken. The show had become nothing short of a leviathan. It was a cultural phenomenon that had snared millions of people along the way, and dragged them along in its wake. The nature of the storyline had sprawled out continuously, from plane crashes to smoke monsters to immortals to alternate dimensions. It grew continuously, exponentially, with every new twist bringing a thousand new questions.
I asked myself over and over again, “How do you end a show like this gracefully?” I flashed back to other epics I had loved. From Star Wars to Lord of the Rings to Battlestar Galactica, and while they’re all close to my heart, all of them are with their flaws. A task of this size cannot be executed perfectly, it’s built into the nature of the undertaking.
The ending to LOST was no different.
And I loved it.
I’m going to tell you something, and you’re not going to believe me. I had faith that last night’s episode was going to be good. No, seriously. I spent all yesterday talking with friends about LOST, and I kept saying the same thing over and over again. “Yeah man, I don’t know, I just think it’s going to be good.” It’s faith though, yo. What was it based on? Just pure gut. Call me Jack Shephard. I texted my friend Tommy, I talked to Pepsibones. It was going to be good.
There’s something about being an idealist, or an optimist, or whatever you want to call it. But I always believe the best is going to happen somehow.
And sometimes! Sometimes I’m correct. Usually I’m wrong. But I wasn’t last night. What They Died For was easily one of the best episodes of the season, and it’s probably in my Top 10 of the series. Yeah, I went there. It was one of those episodes where LOST is hitting all its high notes. Ridiculous WTF moments, mythos building, and some emotional bullshit thrown into the mix.
I’ve made my ass-crush for Jacob known all season long. Perhaps it’s because I relate to his unyielding optimism. Despite the fact that he’s watched for centuries as man has let him down, he continues to believe that they have the potential for good. I mean, if he hasn’t been crushed by thousands of years of selfish behavior, how could I let Lindelof and Cuse break me in one week? Call my ass adamantium, ’cause my will is unbreakable.
Jacob sits down the remaining candidates and explains to them what they have to do, they have to kill Smokey. Does this not make sense to anyone else? I have always understood that there needed to be balance on the Island, and if MiB was dead, wouldn’t that throw off the scales just like Jacob did? Intriguing. There’s also always the chance that Jacob is using for the sort of Obi-Wan double speak that has rocked out throughout the entire show.
“What do you fucking mean he killed my father, Kenobi? You fucking liar! Don’t give me that manner of speaking bullshit! Ghostly prick!”
Last week there was a serious wrinkle thrown into the whole “The point of the Island is to prevent him from leaving” bullshit, when that Annoying Mom from Juno told the two Wonder Twins that their job was to “Protect the Light”. I just puked in my mouth a little bit. So maybe, perchance, Jack’s role is to dismiss Smokey and then protect the Honeypot Glowing Vagina at the center of the Island?
If anything came out of last week’s train wreck of an episode, it was the humanizing of Jacob, and I sort of dug on that. What I took from Survivor: The Island where all the Candidates and The Lecherous Freckled One sat and spoke with Jacob is that the dude done fucked up by throwing MiB into the Honeypot. Some sort of odd corruption took place when he dinged that donkey-wheelin’ douchebag out and he floated into the light. Smokey was born, and it then became Jacob’s job to protect the light at the center of the Island, and prevent Smokey from leaving.
In a manner of speaking, I am reading the two jobs to be mutually exclusive at this point. Smokey taking off from the Island would extinguish the light, and so Jacob/Jack has the wonderful task of preventing him from leaving, and then preventing anyone from corrupting the light.
First off, I dig the human twist to Jacob. There’s something romantically awful about his plight. The guy’s spent thousands of years trying to prevent Smokey from leaving, while living under the notion that he was eventually going to be killed. Jacob is some weird Cain from Cain and Able. A man filled with good, yet charged with killing his own brother and having to live with the consequences. That shit is heavy! Dude needs a hug.
Secondly, how exactly would anyone find the light if they weren’t deserving of it? Isn’t that the general gist of this week and last’s week episode? It seems to be what he told Jack when he totally became THE ONE.
As I laid awake in bed last night, I contemplated the insane amount of time I have dedicated towards writing about, talking about, and thinking about LOST this year. From beginning in January by writing an article a day for an entire month, to taking screen captures relentlessly to provide you with retarded facial expressions, to writing absurdly long recaps of every episode of this season, I have been all LOST, all the time.
Last night, I watched what I feel is the worst episode of LOST. Ever. Worse than Nikki and Paulo. And I’ll tell you why. Nikki and Paulo were a couple of terrible characters that in the long run, didn’t do anything other than waste our time. Last night, Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse bent over, and took a big bloody shit on the entire mythos of LOST.
Not only did they show us the midichlorians like I feared, they then decided to explain the midichlorians’ midichlorians. They spent an hour needlessly explaining things that would have been perfectly fine unexplained. And in doing all of this explaining, they created a universe of utter ridiculousness beyond the scope of ridiculousness in which LOST already exists. They took muddled concepts that were cool because they were never explained, and made them insensibly more complicated and lame.
What an absurd world of convenience they built last night. Let’s see Jacob and Smokey are twins? Really? How heavy-handed and retarded is that? And in case you missed it, the dichotomy that separates the two of them, after immediately being shit out of some woman we’ve never met before, they’re wrapped in blankets of white and black. Just in case you couldn’t put it together. That’s what is wrong with LOST this season, an inexplicable drive to replace all of their vaporous bullshit that stemmed from sloppy writing with hard line answers that stem from sloppy writing. They have crossed the chasm, switching from one extreme to the other.
After shitting out the unexpected MiB, the Mom comments that she only had “one name” and yeah, we never get MiB’s true name. It’s amazing that with all the awful demystification we’re given in this episode, we can’t get the guy’s lame fucking name.
Amazing! That’s the one detail they skimp on.
At some point in the episode the Step-Mom from Juno takes Smokey and Jacob to the Glowing Vagina at the center of the Island. This is what they’ve been protecting the entire time.
I thought the entire point of the Island was to prevent evil from getting out. And now it’s to prevent people from taking the light? As well, what the fuck is this, the Lion King? I mean, there’s some “light” inside of every single human being? Jesus fucking Christ, what is happening to this show? This sort of drippy, tear-soaked dogshit love bullcrap that I can’t even conceive of someone writing. Let alone Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse, who have ushered me through some of my favorite television ever.
MiB decides he’s not cool anymore and he wants to leave the Island. Now we know he’s been a whiny bitch since forever, but that’s okay because Jacob is a weepy Momma’s boy. He goes to live with the people on the Island, and they figure a way to get off of the Island. Somehow it has to do with electromagnetic currents and shit. And then the show really just begins fucking farting and shitting inside of its underwear. Oh my God Jesus fucking Lord help me.
The annoying bitch Mom goes down and we see MiB making the fucking donkey wheel. The fucking donkey wheel. Ready for this? Somehow, the fucking PRIMITIVES on the Island, have figured out that like, there’s light or something.