#November2013

Watch: ‘THE WOLVERINE’ DELETED SCENE has the Beserker receiving a CLASSIC COSTUME

Pure Wolverine ownage.

Oh man. If they hadn’t cut this scene out of The Wolverine, I would have been throwing fanboy rope all over the neck of the people in front of me in the theater. In the aforementioned scene (which takes place at the end), the Maple Leaf Marauder is gifted his classic orange and brown costume.

So baller.

Hit the jump to check out the scene.

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Monday Morning Commute: Don’t Forget to Mind-Wipe!

Fred's Monday Morning

Fred was certain that everything’d gone according to plan.

Sure, it was only the third time he’d been called upon to complete the procedure. But why should he worry? It was the first thing they’d taught him at the Neural Corps Academy, a matter of routine that even those struggling with the coursework could exact if necessary. And he wasn’t no goddamn wash-out, he was quick to remind himself while taking a deep whiff of the checkered material.

He was Fred DeCoup. First, a child prodigy. Then, the star student-cum-valedictorian. And at twenty-two, the youngest cadet awarded the position of Reprogrammer General .

Needless to say, Fred was more than a bit startled when the subject woke up screaming. Typically, subjects’ reentries into consciousness are marked by outward expressions of tranquility, sometimes even gratitude. But when XT-203 came to, he was writhing with hatred and spitting vitriol.

“You piece of shit! You raped me! I remember everything! Release these clamps so I can tear out your throat!”

Fred DeCoup dropped XT-203’s boxer shorts from under his nose. He froze. He knew that everything hadn’t gone according to plan, that he’d made an error of the most egregious sort.

In his perverted ecstasy, Fred had forgotten the most important rule: always run a mind-wipe.

—-

Welcome to the Monday Morning Commute! This is the weekly call-to-arms for all aboard Spaceship OL — crew and passengers alike — to discuss the various ways we’ll combat the Boredom Bastards! Rumor has that a few of these fun-suckers’ve been spotted in the very sector we’re headed towards this week, so we need to make sure that everyone’s armed and ready to face `em!

Murder your familial responsibility with movies. Crush your manager’s halitosis with comics. Piledrive your self-doubt with pizza.

I’ll get us started, but you hafta join me in the comments section.

Let’s do this!

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INFOGRAPHIC PORN: The evolution of WOLVERINE’S COSTUME

CALL HIM WOLVERINE.

Wolverine has got himself a variety of customs over the years. No surprise. Canadian Duder has been part of a variety of teams, and interjected into the world through a variety of media. Some costumes have been better than others. I mean — we can all agree Pirate Feral Wolverine may be the highlight of Logan’s career — right?

Hit the jump to check out the history of homeboy’s costume, and weigh in on your favorite.

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Neal Adams To Draw ‘THE FIRST X-MEN’ Miniseries. This…Sounds Awful.

Wow. Marvel is ever-giving Wolverine a quality balls-washing these days. Not content to have segued the dude into leading his own branch of the monolithic X-Empire, there’s a prequel series being drawn by Neal Adams that has him assembling…the First X-Men. Yep. Chuck is too timid, and so Logan sounds the horn. God. Just God. This is fucking stupid.

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Images & Words – Uncanny X-Force #9

[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

This post is specifically designed for jabronis and slutbags. Why is that? Why am I addressing such human wreckage? Well, simply put, Uncanny X-Force #9 is a comic that everyone should be able to enjoy.

Even the cretins of the multiverse.

Elder Brother Omega has been singing praises of this series for awhile now. Unfortunately, I’d mostly turned a deaf ear to these songs of jubilation, preferring instead to rely   on pre-judgments and close-minded certitudes. “Oh, an X-title about a team designed specifically to murder the most dangerous threats on the planet – it must be fanboy manual-masturbation. What a setback to the art of sequential narrative.”

Yes, I’ve be known to play the role of the unpersuadable asshole.

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The Conclusion to Old Man Logan Will Make You Snikt Yourself

PIle of Hero Death

Old Man Logan‘s conclusion is the stuff that legend shall be built upon. I’m planning on writing up a big deconstruction and essay about the storyline for Friday, but I had to type something. Like, I had to. Sitting in my mancave reading this comic to myself, I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. Huge, filthy laughs of disbelief and amazement. The conclusion redefines the term Berserker Rage. Seriously. You have no god damn idea.

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