Head of HOMELAND SECURITY stays safe by…not using email. There is always that.

Here’s a brilliant way to keep your email secure. Don’t fucking use any! Goddamn. Why didn’t I think of that? I imagine it’d be harder to pull off if I was the head of something, though. If I had to run something enormous. Maybe a bloated off-shoot of the military industrial complex. Like, oh, shit, Homeland Security! I mean, I couldn’t possibly stay in contact with people without it. It’d be impossible. Right?

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