#Caffeine Powered

Hugh Jackman Tweets ‘Logan’ Synopsis. Confirms The Sads, Man.

hugh jackman tweets logan synopsis

Logan ain’t going to be a feel good flick, huh? But, hey. I like my Wolverine thrice-fried in misery and triple-baked in torture. So this, this shit is working for me.

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‘John Wick: Chapter 2’ TV Spot: You Stabbed The Devil In The Back!

Man. Whenever I get down about the impending collapse of Western Civilization, I should at least remember we’re getting a second John Wick movie. Like, way fucking soon.

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Lucasfilm Has “No Plans” For Digital Carrie Fisher

lucasfilm no digital carrie fisher

Lucasfilm has said they have no plans for digitally recreating Leia in Episode VIII or Episode IX. Which is fucking fantastic news. Both due to the respect shown, and also because Digital Leia looked fucking *terrible* in Rogue One.

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‘Mario Kart 8 Deluxe’ Dropping On Nintendo Switch In April

Want some Mario Kart 8 on your Nintendo Switch? This April, you’re in fucking luck! But you better be prepared to either a) play it alone or b) holy fucking shit pay an insane amount for a second controller.

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‘Zelda: Breath Of The Wild’ Trailer: Nintendo’s System Seller Drops On Launch Day

Man. This game looks fucking gorgeous and it’s dropping on launch day for the Nintendo Switch. I think I’m going to be waiting a while to play it though, seeing as to how I went to bed as opposed to waiting to reserve a copy of the console on Amazon or some shit. But. Man. Gorgeous.

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‘Super Mario Odyssey’ Trailer: A Sandbox Romp For The Plumber

Super Mario Odyssey has got a lot of dope stuff going on, in its trailer. Typical 3D Mario gameplay, wonderful music. It’s also got a lot of uh, weird stuff, going on. Like, seeing Mario interact with “realistic” humans, “realistic” humans who look like 1993 CGI nightmares makes me really uncomfortable. But, but uh, I’m still excited for this game.

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Weekend Open Bar: The Last Weekend In America

the last weekend in america

Last Friday evening my family and I gathered for a bit of delicious ass (and if you’re confused, ass is delicious) Mexican food to celebrate my birthday. As my brother left, he told us all to “enjoy the last two weekends in America” — a resonant, if not hyperbolic statement. That leaves us, friends, on the precipice of the Last Weekend In America — a resonant, if not hyperbolic statement.

In a country that seems to be unspooling (on both sides of the political spectrum, mind you, I choose no side in this fusillade of suck), what is there to do?

Why, spend some time with you folks at the Weekend Open Bar.

Gather round, folks. The Vampires at the Throat at here, have been here. But as they drink from us, let us drink together. There is Nowhere to go, so let’s go to Nowhere together.

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Nintendo Switch Dropping On March 3 For $300

nintendo switch release date march 3

Man. Nintendo Switch is dropping fucking *soon*, for $300.

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The Moon Is Way Older Than Thought; Up To 140 Million Years Older

the moon older than thought

The uh, the Moon is way, way, way older than we thought. Hey! Fuck! Don’t blame me. I’m just a slob who posts banality and stares at asses all day long. Blame one of the SpaceWizards.

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‘Fargo’ Is Returning In April For Its Third Season

fargo season 3 premiere date april

Fargo. Jesus Christ. Fargo!!! It’s really returning this year, after a brutal interim where were left to roll our rocks without any sign of reprieve #S2reference. And, and now we know when it’s returning. April.

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