HEY KIDS. Did you fucking know the fucking Hulk and Tony fight in Avengers: Age of Ultron? ‘Cause it’s in every fucking ad! Don’t get me wrong — I am going to love this brawl. But I really hope Whedon et co. have more up their sleeve (and I think they do), because otherwise they’re beating the fuck out of what should be a tremendous moment.

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What the fuck is up, fools. How is life? It’s an ashen paradise over here in the suburbs of Massachusetts. The sky is alternating between a teasing blue and a gray pall that reminds me that it’ll be a long, long time before I’m able to piss outside in the middle of the night without it steaming up and hitting my feel. Good god damn! Fuck that noise! Et cetera. I ain’t started my Christmas shopping, but I’m not worried. You’re all getting pictures of my genitalia and ginger snaps. I want you to barf onto the pictures. You’re welcome.

Monday Morning Commute. Every Monday I’m going to detail the various things I’m either currently or will be watching, reading, playing, and listening to in the next seven days. It’s Monday. You’ve got a long week of school, work, or compulsive masturbation to get through. Tell me the arts that you’re indulging in, to stave off suicide.

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