The thought of traveling through space scares the hell out of me.  Not many things do, but that is one of them.  To be immersed in the infinite blackness with no compass, putting all your trust in a computer that may or may not be correct is insanity.  Why would anyone do it?  Well, if I were forced into it, these are the spaceships that would make me feel slightly better about the whole ordeal.

Read the rest of this entry »

Good news, folks. It appears that so long as  J.J. Abrams is churning out Star Trek  moving pictures, the universe shall be devoid of Bryan Singer. Sign me up for this being a fantastic thing.

Read the rest of this entry »

Sorry to interrupt your regularly-scheduled sausage fest, but there’s a new face on the OL team and it’s a damn sight prettier than anyone else’s around here.

The name’s R.C. and it’s nice to meetcha. Before we go any further, there’s one thing you should know right off the bat: I like things. All sorts of things. If things were a man, I’d marry it. And if  you  were married to things, I’d jeopardize our new friendship by nailing your hot husband. I have been described as many things, including: an immoral raconteur, an astrophile, a zombie aficionado, the bastard lovechild of Ellen Ripley and Badassery, insane, and ridiculously awesome. All of these things are true. I also have a Batman tattoo.

You’re probably thinking to yourself that I can’t possibly be this incredible, but don’t take my word for it. Here are just a few of my testimonials:

“I once lost a Shamon-off to her, and it was awesome.” — Michael Jackson

“She salted the burial grounds of my ancestors so nothing would grow there for a thousand years.” — Rick Santorum

“She’s bitchin’ as shit.” — God

So, let’s kick this off with a big fucking HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Leonard Nimoy, who is, like, 461 years old today. Leonard, I know you’re pretty sick to death of the Star Trek franchise, but nut up and accept the fact that I am going to spend the night Vulcan saluting all over the place in your honor.

There could a new Star Trek TV show coming courtesy of That Guy Who Made Usual Suspects and Those X-Mutant Movies.

Read the rest of this entry »

I haven’t thought of  Benicio Del Toro much lately, but J.J. Abrams has. He wants him to be the villain in the next Trek flick, and that’s fantastic by me.

Read the rest of this entry »

I hadn’t heard of David Foster until today, and even after glancing at his bio I’m still well familiar with him. Other than he is the guy who thinks he has what it takes to bring Star Trek back to the television screen.

Read the rest of this entry »

[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]

William Shatner v. Chris Pine.

Whattaya think? Is Shatner a shoe-in because he’s the original urbane explorer of space? Or does Chris Pine’s reimagined Kirk, the Solo-meets-Skywalker take on the Trek universe, go places his predecessor simply couldn’t?

Let the games begin.

Yes, hi, hello, how are you? The scent of rot you’re picking up is a prescient notion of your future-rot, a fate guaranteed by your entrance into Flagship Humanity. I apologize on behalf of Whatever Is Up There for our inevitably decline into stuffing for an overpriced casket.

But!, lament not. It’s the Fourth of July weekend! At least, here in the Empire. I don’t know what the rest of the world is going, and as I have been trained by a stringent regiment of indoctrination throughout the US school system – I don’t care! Are you all still watching the footy-ball? I have my money on the team of polar bears from Antarctica. Those cats (bears) can ball. Like woah.

So slough off those momentary premonitions of your inevitable demise, and gather those fucking rosebuds while you may. And by rosebuds, this weekend, I meant some chemical-soaked beef, and your light beer of choice. Let’s all party on the Titanic together.

Monday Morning Commute. Every Monday I’m going to detail the various things I’m either currently or will be watching, reading, playing, and listening to in the next seven days. It’s Monday. You’ve got a long week of school, work, or compulsive masturbation to get through. Tell me the arts that you’re indulging in, to stave off suicide.

Read the rest of this entry »

[courtesy: slashfilm]

What happens when you mash-up Captain Kirk and Ke$ha? You get pure, odd win.