Another attempt at a ‘Scanners’ TV show is being made. Insert head exploding joke here

scanners tv show

Folks, they’re at it again. The MediaWizards. This time they’re attempting to adapt cult classic Scanners into a TV show. Let’s push aside the obvious, typical “it doesn’t need a TV adaptation” rhetoric for a moment. The new owners of the property actually have a dope pedigree, so who the fuck knows.

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Monday Morning Commute: Red Planets, Blue Skies, Black Hearts, White Lies.

Carl Sagan.

Scanners wasn’t wrong. Inter-facing with the Omega Space-Ship through the circuitous telephone network is difficult. As we speak, the hemoglobin slithers down my nasal cavities. My sclera pool into murky, red misery.  I do this for you, my friends. Seldom are the days when you get the pleasure of knowing the gentle-man at the other end of an exchange is a fugitive. Yet today, you have this pleasure. The modern-man with his fascist government attempts to hold me-you-us down, insisting that digitally interfacing with a Slurpee machine with our digits (along with other mushy parts) is against some sort of law. Embrace the disembracement of the flesh, let us love all matter within the known Cosmos.

Or just let me fuck my Slurpee machine in peace. It loves me so.

Quickly now, let us not waste time. While Spring is close, it is still nipply out. Running out of the 7-Eleven as I was chased by the Illuminati’s thugs, I wasn’t able to retrieve my pants. So I am balls-out, warbling nonsense into the last known pay phone in my town. Soon I’m going to need to take the quarter out from underneath my tongue to continue this man-phone-internet-Word-Press exchange thanks to the cost of communication. And once I lose my Tuning Coin, who knows how things are going to go.

This is Monday Morning Commute. I’m going to tell you the things I wish I was doing instead of being on the run from the Trilateral Commission’s goons. You’re going to tell me what arts and farts you’re enjoying this week.

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Beyonce goes Scanners.

Gods bless. If you know the source, please let me know so I can give credit.

Scientists EXTRACT PRIVATE INFORMATION using off-the-shelf brainware scanners. Good grief.

Welcome to the future, where we can read your mind. We toy with God, and I cannot wait until he decides to smite us. Some scientists have conjured up a way to extract private information from our brains using off-the-shelf brainware gadgets. Sounds bananas. Sounds like Inception but without the painful exposition and boring love story.

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Robert Pattinson Recreates Scenes From CRONENBERG’S VIDEODROME & SCANNERS. The Ill Na-Na.

Listen Robert Pattinson you seem like you got yourself some acting chops. Imma forgive you for starring in Vampire Cinematic Pukepile  just based on the fact that you’re doing a Cronenberg flick, and even upgrade you to dope status for these pictures. Duder recreated scenes from two of my faves Videodrome  and Scanners. How can I hate on that? I can’t. I won’t.

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