Russia isn’t fucking around, folks. They’re dead set on establishing their Nuclear-Powered Illuminati hub on the surface of Europa. The Kremlin has recently unveiled the plan through which they shall engage such plans, covering up their obvious covert operations underneath the guise of a pretty, pretty, pretty beefy new space program.

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One of the neatest things last year, in a really horrifying and troubling way, is how Putin pretty much stole an election last year and all of us assholes over here were like “Oh, Dancing With The Stars? Awesome!” and paid no attention. Hey man, we got priorities. Wonder how much this will register on our collective radar.

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