I’m not sure there’s much middle ground for people regarding the movie adaptation of Mark Millar’s ridiculous, bloody, entertaining comic book Kick-Ass. As a fan of the comic, and ultraviolence in general, I’m beyond stoked that they’re keeping this movie faithful as fuck to the comic book. In a recently released Red Band trailer featuring Hit-Girl, they show just how committed they are to the source material. Twelve year-old Hit-Girl slices the shit out of thugs, drops the word “Cunt” and throws blood everywhere.

Either you’re a sicko like me, and you’re going to love this absurd approach to what heroes would look like in the real world, or you’re shocked, offended, and possibly vomiting. Check out the clip below.

Mark Millar and Steve McNiven’s Nemesis is going to be fucking amazing. Why, you ask? Skeptical fucks! I’ll tell you. For starters, it’s by Mark Millar and Steve McNiven. They did Marvel’s Civil War storyline, but more importantly, they did OLD MAN LOGAN this year, which is pretty much the greatest fucking Wolverine story ever. EVER. Also, Millar is a true fucking pimp and has ripped off runs on Wolverine, The Ultimates, The Authority, and Fantastic Four which make your asshole pucker, as well as his creator owned Wanted, and Kick-Ass.

And then there’s the premise:

From Comic Book Resources:

Millar: Yeah, a lot of people who’ve read it have been coming up with hilarious tag-lines. “What if Batman was The Joker?” is the tame one. “What if Batman was a total cunt?” is maybe my favourite, although it’s hardly going to be an ad. Marvel President Dan Buckley sort of paid me a compliment, saying, “This is such a stupidly simple and obvious idea. I can’t believe nobody’s ever come up with it before. You are the master of the stupidly simple idea.” Which I suppose is kind of flattering because everyone said that about “Kick-Ass” too. It’s almost too simple.

But, yeah. “Nemesis” is a reversal of the Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark archetype. What if this genius billionaire was just this total shit, and the only thing that stood between him and a city was the cops? It’s Batman versus Commissioner Gordon, in a weird way. Or maybe a super-villain version of “Se7en.” A billionaire anarchist up against ordinary people. The Joker’s the best thing in the Batman movies, so this guy is a bit of an amalgamation of all the stuff we like.

If you’re not sold? Fuck you. March 2010. I cannot fucking wait.

Are you fools ready to Fuck Crime! next April? I hope so! Because the movie adaptation of the comic book Kick-Ass is spilling into theaters on April 16, 2010. I have to say, I’m one of the few people I know that isn’t totally jizzing over the comic book. It’s yet another Mark Millar riff on SUPERHEROES IN THE REAL WORLD, ala Wanted, Marvel 1985, et cetera, et cetera. And it seems to rely on hyperviolence and shock value. I should probably admit after stating that though, that Mark Millar is one of my favorite comic book writers. And he’s scribed countless stories I’ve adored. Maybe I’m just burnt out on ultraviolence. It’s not his fault. I love you Mark! It’s just that every time I read an issue, I get the feeling there’s the “Are you shocked?! Are you offended? Eh! EH?!”

No, I’m not. I jerk off to scat porn. A little girl saying the word “Cunt” doesn’t blow me away anymore.

That said, I couldn’t help but be amazed by the clips that leaked from San Diego Comic Con this year. They’re pretty god damn faithful. Deep down inside I’m sweating the movie, and I have the funny feeling it’s going to blow my god damn socks off. As well, the fact that the movie was independently funded reeks of awesomeness and I love the fact that they just shot the fucking movie they wanted, and sold it afterwards. I think I may be fawning. Fuck. Shit.

I’m conflicted.

Lay off me, I’m bipolar.