This is the most merry of Christmas presents. Or the worst present I’ve ever received, should it suck and blow at the same time. Well, second only to that time my Uncle Jupiter filled a box with his pubes and a rattlesnake. But fuck him and fuck my facial scar.

Read the rest of this entry »

Aw man! Underhand pitched that stupid headline! Swung so hard I cracked vertebrae! Whatever. I don’t care. The latest Star Wars: Episode VII: Abrams’ Controls My Heart rumor is that the flick isn’t dropping in May of 2015. This doesn’t surprise me very much. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Every movie in the franchise has arrived in May. But they ain’t cast anyone for this fucking flick, let alone started filming it. So December? Makes sense to me.

Read the rest of this entry »