Truth be told, I have spent more time searching for the header image for this column than I will end up spending writing it. Whatever. The really juicy nougats come from the give and take inside the comments section, right? My part is to serve as but the catalyst for the gals and guys of OL to begin their weekly wanking. I settled on an image by my good friend Brian Galiano. A couple years back, homeboy drummed up countless works (well, you could count them, but I’m lazy) to accompany Rendar’s novella DEFEAT. If you’ve never read the son of a bitch, start here. Anyways, this is Monday Morning Commute. The column where we elaborate on the distractions coating existence just enough on a given week to give us through the malaise.

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One of my favorite parts of the Dead Space series is upgrading my suits. There’s something about the clinking and clacking of armor coming together that milks the techno-g spot. Every time that gorgeous salt and pepper bastard Clarke gets an upgrade, I get a little dribbly

Artist machine56 understands this, and designed a hoodie based around Clarke’s advanced suit. Now it isn’t real yet, but Jesus Fucking Christ I would pay good money to garb myself in it.

Hit the jump for the pure swank.

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I loved the original Dead Space. I love the sequel even more. Apparently, I’m not the only one who loves this sequel. No sir. In fact, Dead Space 2 has doubled the sales of the original game. In the first fucking week!  According to CVG:

EA chief operating officer John Schappert said of the game, which released last week: ‘The game launched with a 91 rating, and is approaching 2 million units sold in, with double the sell-through of the original Dead Space.'”

Outstanding.

OH SHIT, I’m coasting on some caffeine. Cracked open Dead Space 2 yesterday. Played it for about…an hour and a half? Thoughts: it’s fucking radical. Like, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles radical. Tubular, even. Initial fears over Isaac Clarke having a prominent speaking role? Dismissed. Cast aside. Having him play a larger role is fantastic, and he’s also apparently a sexy lad. Yeah, I don’t know why I’m mentioning that. Ripping this shit off the tip of consciousness. A consciousness polished and aimed with a caffeinated machine gun spray.

MY FAVORITE PART SO FAR?
The setting. As much as I liked the whole Event Horizon-Alien-Whatever tip of the original, I love the Sprawl more. Why? ‘Cause if you ain’t in the know, son, it’s a cyberpunk homage. There’s no way the name the Sprawl isn’t a head nod to William Gibson’s Neuromancer. The setting itself reflects this homage, the whole thing looking like a cyberpunk orgasm that channels Gibson and Blade Runner and other bonery.

GAMEPLAY?
Like the original, but adrenaline charged. A lot more enemies coming at you at once, and Jesus they seem to be running a lot faster. Maybe it’s because I played it after a long day, but I was (enjoying) having a harder time corralling all of the little demons charging me.

HAVE YOU PLAYED IT?
I’m only on the third chapter, but I’d be interested to hear other people’s thoughts-in-progress.

Electronic Arts is going with a pretty amusing “Your Mom Hates This!” ad campaign for Dead Space 2. They show the game to the average Mom. Then they catch the Moms on camera as they shit their pants, and run back to their lives of fupas and super-processed hair. I dig it.

What do I dig more? Dino Ignacio’s Mom. Ignacio is the user interface designer for Dead Space 2, and he decided to show his Mom clips of the game. Is she  appalled? Hardly. She chuckles as she watches poor Isaac Clarke get dismembered and die a zillion horrible deaths. Outstanding.

Reminds me of my Mom, after spending twenty years in a house with my brother and myself.

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Of all the games I want that are actually announced, Dead Space 2 is the one I’m sweating the most. The original was the best rendition of Event Alien Horizon Scientology ever. It scared the crap out of me while hooking deep into my gaming soul with its presentation, graphics, storyline, and most importantly gameplay.

I have no idea what Dead Space 2 is about. Watching this trailer though, it seems to be taking place in a crumbling futuristic city. Oh god, did they just infuse one of my favorite game’s sequels with futuristic cyberpunk wankery? It’s almost too good to be true.

Strap on a diaper if you’re a wimp like me, and hit the jump for the new trailer.

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With E3 around the corner, we got some new Dead Space 2 goodness up in here. How about some debut gameplay footage? Say wooooord! Fucking Issac Clarke is back, and he is ready to rock out in the best mash-up of Event Horizon, Alien, and Your Worst Nightmares. Again. The original Dead Space is one of my favorite games of the generation, and I have to cop and admit that this sequel has me flapping my hands up and down excitedly like that girl that used to wear the helmet on the bus.

Hit the jump for the fuggin’ gameplay trailer!

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I always happily shit myself. Let me get that out of the way. I’m sitting on a fudge mound happily tucked between buttcheeks and boxer-briefs. But yeah, this trailer for Dead Space is the super illin’. The original blew my fucking mind, and I can only imagine the sequel is going to do the game. Check the trailer out after the jump.

Yo! EA Games and Visceral, I’m a big fan of Dead Space. Huge fan. One of my favorite games of the generation. So feel free to send me shit like this:

via destructoid:

Reader Brian Hackney gets some weird stuff in his mail. He just shot over to us some strange Dead Space 2 material that showed up in his real-life inbox the other day. The documents include notes from a doctor who seems to be taking care of someone who is undergoing transformation into a Necromorph, a Rorschach test and an envelope with a stain on it that resembles the silhouette of a man.

Sounds pretty fucking rad and creepy. The day I begin receiving mysterious viral packages from gaming companies is the day I’ll consider myself a success. Until then, feel free to mail me your video game accessories and pictures of Christina Hendricks.

I missed a shit load of stuff at PAXEAST this weekend, but Dead Space 2 footage is probably the thing I would have came hardest over in person. I dug the fuck out of the original. In fact, it’s in my top five for this generation, and up there all time. So when I saw this footage, I threw rope. Wicked hard.

[source : all games beta]