Microsoft killing off Internet Explorer, replacing it with “Spartan.”


Fuck Internet Explorer! Yeah! I ain’t used that since 1994, and that was just so I could download Netscape. And I been using that browser since! But man, maybe I’ll get back into the Microsoft browser game. Crazier things have happened. I thought I had sworn off snorting frozen Mountain Dew shards and…here we are. Gutted nostrils and crying loved ones. Whatever.

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Yeahhh! Pig alert! I can’t help it (Yes I can, I’m just a piece of shit.) I want to swerve my swizzle stick all around Master Chief’s blue-bummed aid’s ass. Or something. What am I even talking about? So tired. Oh yeah! Being attracted to polygons. Cortana. Yum yum. Microsoft must know that I’m not alone, because they’re calling their Siri equivalent “Cortana.”

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‘HALO 4’ GAMEPLAY TRAILER: What is old is new again?

Maybe it’s because I’ve taken a few years off from the franchise, coupled with a new dev team, but I’m fucking excited for Halo 4. Am I the only one? Who doesn’t want to dress their significant other up as Cortana and rub maple syrup over their boobs or balls? I mean, really? How does that tie into the trailer? Shut up.

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‘HALO 4’ DETAILS: Cortana Is Dying, Forerunners, And More.

Take this batch of Halo 4  information upside your head. Take it! It’s full of details, the Forerunners, and Cortana pulling her buttcheeks apart and downloading the Universe into her soul.

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First Look: CORTANA From ‘HALO 4’, Or: BLUE JUBJUBS.

Game Informer is going to be rolling out a Halo 4  rub-and-tug this month, and they’ve dropped the cover ahead of time. It features franchise fixture Cortana looking all sorts of blue and seductive.

Hit the jump to check her out.

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