Borderlands! My fucking favorite. And this really isn’t news per say, but I’m going to be excited about Randy Pitchford confirming that Borderlands 3 is really happening. Like duh! But let my dong go swole.

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Listen. If I can cop to Star Wars non-news, I can admit that this shit is not news as well. But I fucking love Borderlands, and I want a proper third installment almost as badly as I want a fourth Fucking Fallout (and Mass Effect).

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The minds behind My Favorite Franchise Of The Last Gen (Maybe, Maybe Not, Whatever) have revealed their next game. And like we all knew ahead of time, it ain’t Borderlands 3. The joint is called Battleborn and it’s been labeled a “hero-shooter.” While I’m sure I will enjoy this game to an extent, a) I don’t really know what the fuck hero-shooter means, b) the art design ain’t my speed, and c) I want Borderlands 3. None the less, I trust the group to deliver compelling gameplay. And ain’t that what this shit is all about? What do you all make of this?

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C’mon, Gearbox Software! Fuck you, fuck your new IPs. You’re not working on Borderlands 3 right now? You need to. Don’t misunderstand me. I need you to. It keeps the glue in my blood-brain barrier from dissolving, which will let the omni-slugs into my rotting-piece.

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