#August2012

OL STORE: Biff’s Secret to Success

Hey, come over here! Don’t worry, there’s plenty of parking in front of the OL STORE! Hell, the spaces are spacious, too — you can comfortably park any vehicle, even that DeLorean of yours. Give the Flux Capacitor a chance to cool down, and come on inside!

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Face of a Franchise: Jennifer Parker

[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]

Take a look at the image above. Good lookin’ babes, huh? Slightly over-the-hill, no doubt, but these ladies seemed to have aged more like wine than vinegar. And hell, who doesn’t like a nice cougar? America’s been lusting after slutty old broads for the last forty-four years.

True beauty transcends time. And so do these babes.

One of the most important plot elements of Back to the Future is that Marty is going to fuck his girlfriend Jennifer Parker during a weekend retreat. He’s really pumped about the prospect, especially since it’ll cheer him up after having been smoked in the battle of the bands audition. Unfortunately, his pussy of a father loans the family car to his shitbird boss, who of course smashes it up while drunk. As a result, Marty goes back in time to rewrite history so that he can bang Jennifer whenever he pleases.

Or something.

In any case, the role of Jennifer Parker was first rocked by Claudia Wells. The actress did a superb job of inducing boners, thereby helping viewers of Back to the Future further sympathize with the protagonist (and his carnal desires). Had a lesser-quality woman taken the role, society may have never experienced a collective erection and this modern-classic may have fallen by the wayside.

*HOWEVER*

Due to an illness in the family, Claudia Wells was unable to participate the second two chapters of the BTTF trilogy. As a result, Elisabeth Shue assumed the role of Jennifer. With Shue’s performance, the audience was able to glimpse into the year 2015 and see what Marty McFly’s future turmoil could look like. The second and third flicks featured Jennifer much more prominently, requiring more screen time from Shue than her predecessor.

Claudia Wells defined the role, but then bowed out and pretty much faded into obscurity. Elisabeth Shue spent way more time as the character, but was just going through the motions someone else choreographed.

So – who do you think is the better Jennifer Parker?

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Tell Marty McFly Hoverboards Are Fuggin’ Real!

HOVERBOARD

via ohhaveyouseenthis:

French artist Nils Guadagnin made a hoverboard. You know, like the one in Back to the Future 2 and you totally wanted after you saw the movie. It was made for an art exhibit and levitates using an electromagnetic system and is stabilized by a laser.

Someone call up Marty McFly he doesn’t have to travel to the future anymore, hoverboards are fucking real! Awesome.

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