#Space
MARS ROVER has findings that confirm the Red Planet was once capable of life. Bradburyboner.
The Mars Curiosity Rover Guy has found conditions on the aforementioned Red Planet that suggest the planet was once suitable for life. The real question becomes (obviously), when did we destroy Ares before we fled here to the Blue Marble? Don’t fuck with me, I’ve seen the face on the planet and everything. It makes sense. Tell me, Illuminati! Tell me!
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VENUS hiding in SATURN’S MAJESTY is space swoon.
Oh, Venus. The planet is playing coy in this picture, hiding from us. Though, it does have some help with the majesty of Saturn in this picture’s forefront.
The HEART NEBULA beats with awesome. Take my puns into your soul!
It’s Monday. I pounded a good old liter of Pepsi Max on the way to work. The result is a collision between your eyes and my horrible puns. May they eviscerate the softer tissues of your meat sack, allowing my infection to spread. Oh yeah, this post is about space or something.
“ULTIMATE’ building blocks of life found in interstellar space. I find it all confusing.
There is so much goddamn wizardry afoot in this article right here. Using telescopes or whatever to see molecules or something in deep space. Building blocks of life. All of it. All of it makes my nose bleed in a wonderful manner.
“VULCAN” wins Pluto’s moon-naming poll. Plus! Three-headed dogs.
The Vulcans have won, folks. Led by Spock, they have claimed victory in the poll which was deciding the name of two of Pluto’s moons. Pretty gnarly.
Curiosity’s self-portrait panorama on MARS is vanity gone Red Planet.
When Curiosity goes sentient and begins building the robo-colony on Mars, we shall be able to point towards this day as the beginning. It is the day in which the crawler-thang began snapping selfies, sending the Universe glimpses at its torso. Who can blame curiosity for its ascent into nascent self-awareness. It has sailed the solar winds, landing on the Red Rock. Once there, it began doing what millions of humans dream of undertaking. Such wonderful acts activate the human-laced upbringings in its core, drudging out the hubris of its makers.
Newly discovered planet is the size of the MOON. Pluto is like, indignant.
The Space Wizards have found us a new exoplanet, and this one is fucking small. How small? We’re talking about as small as the round mound of Cheese that we like to call the Moon. Space Cheese. Pluto is probably pretty upset about this news, as it continues to deny the fact that its demotion wasn’t purely based on its size. Give it up, Pluto!
Saturn’s got itself some HEXAGONAL CLOUDS, ain’t nobody know why.
Why does Saturn have hexagonal clouds? That’s a great, great question. Few minds have solved the riddle, and often those bodies have been found discarded in the dumpsters at the local Wendy’s Burger and Diarrhea emporium. Dare you attempt to solve the puzzle? Then dive further into this here article.
Behold! A gravity map of the Moon! You didn’t know you wanted this.
Using this map acquired through subterfuge (web browsing? WTF is that?), I intend on finding the top secret hideout of the Illuminati Trilateral Commission Group. You know, the one on the Moon where they plan all sorts of shit. Putting Prozac into our water. Convincing the mouthbreathers of the world that Big Bang Theory is funny. Canceling Rubicon. The truly nefarious acts. Once I find them, in a comfortable gravity pocket, then I begin building my rocket ship.
RUSSIAN METEOR was largest in more than a century at over 10,000 tons.
That Russian meteor that struck all over their face last week? Way bigger than initially suspected. Like, I can’t do the math, but a lot. In fact, the energy that was released was more than 30 times than that of the atomic bomb detonated over Hiroshima. G’damn.
