How the fuck did I miss (or forget?) that there was a documentary being made about Tim Burton’s failed Superman project? Too much to contain within the rotting mush between my ears. Anyhoo — the trailer for the documentary has arrived (from Krypton? LOLIHATEMYSELF), and it looks pretty fucking awesome.
It’s after this holiest of holy weekends that I like to give thanks to the lord baby Jesus for giving us the gift of video games, for introducing the concept of extra lives and, most importantly, dying for our sins so that we are all able to wallow in our own filth whilst we gaze into the screen for an entire weekend, shoveling poultry and confectionery down our unrelenting gullets.
Thank you, Jesus.
Hey friends. You have probably thought you have seen the last of the nightmare that was Tim Burton’s Superman. Double wrong. Bask in the radioactive glory that is Nicky Cage in the Super-suit.
Okay, I’m not even going to see it. So yeah. Not the best movie ever. However, there’s been a dearth of Nicky Cage news lately, and those who know me know this makes me a bit sad in the scrotum. So let us dance to this announcement.
Nic Cage is going to do The Expendables 3. Good goddammit. The first flick sucked, I’m not enticed by the second, and now I’m going to have to see the third. My love for Cage and his penchant for madcap completely awful roles is well documented, and he is signing up for this pure fecaltainment I’m theater bound.
And in that moment, as the tides of blood washed upon the shores of our collective consciousness, there arose a hero forged for such an occasion.
Nic Cage’s copy of Action Comics #1 which has been soaked in his glorious madness ambiance, stolen, and since returned, has sold for a fucking fuck-ton of greenbacks.
Yo, fuck Cillian Murphy. The greatest actor of all time almost played the Scarecrow in Schumacher’s third Batman flick. Can you only image the utter insanity that would have been a Cage-powered Scarecrow? An insane man with hallucinations playing an insane man who induces hallucinations.