‘EPISODE VII’ CAST ANNOUNCED. MY NIPPLES HURT WITH GLEE.

Sprung.

Oh baby, my nipples are hurting. Nay. My nipples are leaking from excitement. The Episode VII cast has finally been announced, and it is stocked with a cavalcade of oldies and newbies that get me taut in all the applicable places.

The new Star Wars VII, directed by JJ Abrams without George Lucas, now has an official cast. Here’s the list, straight from the Star Wars website:

John Boyega, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, and Max von Sydow (the villain?) will join the original stars of the saga, Harrison Ford (Han Solo), Carrie Fisher (Leia Organa), Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker), Anthony Daniels (C-3PO), Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca), and Kenny Baker (R2-D2)

Director J.J. Abrams says, “We are so excited to finally share the cast of Star Wars: Episode VII. It is both thrilling and surreal to watch the beloved original cast and these brilliant new performers come together to bring this world to life, once again. We start shooting in a couple of weeks, and everyone is doing their best to make the fans proud.”

Star Wars: Episode VII is being directed by J.J. Abrams from a screenplay by Lawrence Kasdan (The Empire Strikes Back) and Abrams. Kathleen Kennedy, J.J. Abrams, and Bryan Burk are producing, and John Williams returns as the composer. The movie opens worldwide on December 18, 2015. [Gizmodo]