You Can Buy RONALD REAGAN’S BLOOD For $15,000. No, Srsly.

After  John Hinckley’s assassination attempt on Ronald Reagan, someone went about collecting the president’s blood. Much like other heirlooms, that blood has passed hands through the family. Also much like heirlooms, a family member is finally like “fuck having this, I can make some dough off it”, and is auctioning the hemoglobin off.


According to the owner of the blood-stained vial, his deceased mother worked at the laboratory that processed Reagan’s blood work. Upon her passing, the seller has turned to  the unscrupulous mad scientist community  the internet. Explains the owner, “I was a real fan of Reaganomics and felt that Pres. Reagan himself would rather see me sell it rather than donating it.” More choice quotes from the auction summary:

I contacted the Reagan National Library and spoke to the head of the library, a Federal Agent. I told him what I had, how I came across it and so on. We spoke for about 45 minutes. The reason that I contacted the Reagan National Library was to see if they would like to purchase it from me. He indicated that if I was interested in donating it he would see to it that he would take care of all of the arrangements. Prior to hanging up the phone, he said to me, do me a favor, don’t move from where you are, I will call you back within 30 minutes but I have to make a couple of phone calls to seek legal counsel, consult with National Archives, the FBI and other three or four letter agencies that I have heard of. I said am I in any kind of trouble or will there be some black cars/SUVs or helicopters hovering above my home and he said not yet but possibly in the very near future depending on what he learned from the phone calls he had to make. I told him alright, I will not move from where I was sitting and would await his return call. He called back in 25 minutes and said that everything was ok, National Archives was not interested in what I had, nor was the Secret Service, the FBI and other agencies.

Never stop blowing my goddamn mind, Western Culture.