Game of Thrones: You Win or You Die

RIP King Robert – you were a whoring drunk whose death seemed rather pathetic. But we’re not stupid. You weren’t just gutted by a boar. We know foul play when we see it. You were fed drugged wine by your squire, Lancel Lannister. You’re dead now, though. Something a lot of people have been eagerly waiting for: your wife Cersei, you “son” Joffrey, and your brothers Renly and Stannis. The problem is that all of these people feel entitled to the throne (while the real heir works as a blacksmith’s apprentice) and civil war is about to break out any moment. Martin didn’t choose the title of his book because it sounded pretty.

And while the beginnings of a continent-wide civil war build up on Westeros, little do they know that the most dangerous threat of all comes from Khal Drogo and his Dothraki across the sea. Dany’s happy marriage to Drogo is short-lived. An assassination attempt on Dany sparks the rage inside Drogo and he vows to sail the ocean – on wooden horses, hur – and rape and pillage his way through Westeros. Actor Jason Momoa was beyond intense while delivering that dialogue. Dany has been fleeing in one form or another her whole life. She’ll enjoy being on the offensive for once when the Dothraki cross the sea.

Up at the wall, away from the chaos and infighting down south, Jon Snow has graduated to the Night’s Watch. Congratulations, bastard. The somber festivities are cut short when his direwolf emerges from the brush with a severed hand in his mouth. This hand, which could possibly belong to his missing uncle Benjen, does not bode well for the newbies of the Watch. It also gives weight to something Theon’s wild woman warns about: the White Walkers are returning. Now add to the board another outside threat to those vying for the throne. The Dothraki are planning their journey to Westeros and the White Walkers are beginning to emerge form the Haunted Forest. Damn.

Another solid episode but I do have to quibbles. First, no Peter Dinklage this week? Nuts! Second, as I mentioned in a previous Re-Up, enough with the gratuitous nudity. The writers are talented enough to make listening to lengthy exposition engaging – we don’t need two naked chicks fingering each other in the background. “Play with her arse” was pretty funny though. I admit.