‘STAR WARS: EPISODE VII’ to begin shooting in EARLY 2014. MY NIPPLES.


Why is this news? Because I jack off into a sock that I’ve fashioned to look like Chewbacca! That’s why. A new Star Wars is less than a year from filming. Oh God, the texture of my nipples as I type that sentence.


[Bryan] Burk, who’ll also produce Star Wars Episode VII with Abrams, said the following to Collider:

We’re progressing on a schedule to hopefully begin next year, or the beginning of next year, and the location is still kind of floating around in the air all depending on script and a whole bunch of other issues.  As I just said, everything is kind of a free-flowing thing, and when we feel like the story level on this script and everything is really coming together and schedules are all working and pieces line up, we prowl ahead, and Star Wars will be no different.