OMEGA-LINKS: Skywalker’s Dumb Parents, Stars, The Bordering Lands, & Moar

the future

HEY FRIENDS. I was fucking busy today! So I didn’t get around to commenting on (to myself, and like that one weird guy in the corner with the gnarly erection and killer Reebok Pumps) the various news and notes from the around the internet in the past 24 hours. Instead of shuddering in a fluid-covered shell of inadequacy over my failure, I figure’d I would round these links up in one tight package.

After the jump! Pre-Sequels, Sequels to Classics, More Dumb Comic Book Movie News, and More!

Butt-stomp the moon in Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel
Am I slightly resentful the next Borderlands game isn’t for current-gen? Yes. Am I slightly resentful that it isn’t being handled by Gearbox? Yes. Am I dribbling seminal fluid all over my fingers as I try the vaunted stroke-n-type method because I’m so excited by new BorderlandsYes.

Astronomers Release Gorgeous Image of a “Celestial Diamond Ring”
You want a sexy fucking image of a celestial diamond ring?! Or do you want to suck for eternity? That’s your choice, brolo.

‘Star Wars Episode VII’ Returning to Tatooine
You think just because I didn’t post today that we’d go without a fucking Star Wars news item? Eat my ass!

Dark Phoenix cosplay, by Vampy Bit Me.
It’s Dark Phoenix cosplay! C’mon. What the fuck else do I need to say.

Bad Medicine: The Evil Within Trailer
Don’t you dare forget about Shinji Mikami’s return to actual Survival Horror. Don’t you fucking do it! ‘Cause if you forget, who the hell is going to remind me?

Ant-Man adds Matt Gerald as villain
I don’t know who Matt Gerald is, but he’s a villain in a movie I want to see. Did I tell you I ejaculate into a plastic bag that’s fashioned after Kevin Feige’s gorgeous face? #datmentallyillfanboylike


So there are all the saved articles from my RSS feed. I probably forgot to save some, quickly rifling through Feedly while at lunch, taking a crap, or in traffic. So feel free to share your own noteworthy news stories from the day.